`Love Takes Two.

2011-11-27T16:39:00.006+08:00

6 months since i've been here, sure how times flies - and within these 6 months, there sure are a lot of changes that happened in my life. here's my story :)

firstly, yes, never in the world would i have dreamed that i would have gotten into my dream school: National University of Singapore (NUS). to be honest, this has always been my dream school but whenever people asked, i would never dare to say so cuz i was afraid people might think that i was being naive. furthermore, i came from a polytechnic and it definitely was not easy to get into such a prestigious university. rumour has it that only the top 10% of the students from polytechnic got in. i kinda heard of this since Day 1 of my polytechnic life. i never dared dream of getting into NUS. i remembered getting my 3 As and 2Cs in Semester 1.1 of my poly life. i didnt really thought much, since it was only my very first semester. when i saw the As, to be seriously honest, i was pleasantly surprised. when i was in secondary school, A was never in my dictionary. passing was kinda the main concern and getting a B was definitely already a bonus. juggling with track and studies was 101% tough, i have been through it in secondary school and i know it.

in poly, i was in a dilemma. knowing how much i loved sports and at the same time, how much i yearned of getting into a local uni. i finally thought it through. i told myself that i'd work as hard as i could. no matter whether i get into a local or private uni at the end of my poly life, as long as i knew that i had given my best shot - and then, i'd had no regrets. i knew how tough it was to juggle sports and studies, i've been through it. so i told myself that i'd focus on my studies. i just wanted to know how far i could go. true enough, after i got back sem 1.1 results with the 3As and 2Cs, i told myself i never wanted to see the C again in my poly life. in the remaining semesters, you cannot imagine how hard i worked not wanting to see the C ever again in my transcript. whenever i got a B grade for coursework, you just dont know how worried i was since i was just 1 grade away from a C. i really gave them my best shot and i knew how much a C could affect the CGPA that i had been working so hard for. yeap and in sem 1.2, i got 2Zs, 1A and 3Bs. till now, i still remembered when i saw the Z, i totally screamed. when i came into poly, i totally never thought much about getting an A and then i got As in sem 1.1, which spurred me on. i continued to work hard, hoping to get more As but never dreamed of getting a Z cuz Z was meant for the top 5 or 10% of the students for that subject. i dont think you all know how much it meant to me. in secondary school, i never dared aim for an A grade. passing was my main concern and getting a B, as mentioned, was definitely already a bonus.

when i saw that when i worked hard enough with no distractions - cuz i knew that i was going to be 100% committed once i joined track - i was actually able to score well. as i've said, deep inside, i've always wanted to get into a local uni but didnt dare say it out to anyone. i simply kept it to myself to the point that my parents even thought that i didnt even want to enter a local uni, since i kept saying 'at most i just study at a private uni, it isnt the end anyway'. actually, i said that cuz it was a way to comfort myself should i not be able to get in. i knew that the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment, so i didnt dare to have much hopes.

i still remember the best result i ever got was in sem 2.1 with 1Z, 3As and 1B. year 2 in poly was one of the most memorable moments in my life. in secondary school, i've gotten prizes and awards for track but never, never have i gotten anything for academic reasons. most of the time when i got back my report book in secondary school, the first thing was to look at my overall position in the whole cohort. ask my father cuz he did the same, the first thing to look was whether i was last in class or last in the whole cohort (ahem, i never was!! yay :D). whenever we saw that i was not, we would laugh it out together. so when i received a letter in poly during my vacation, i just thought i was an event for the Business Interest Group (BIG) event - my poly CCA - that i was invited to join. i again, shouted out loud when i read on - i was on the Director's Honours List!!! i think it was in poly that i realised that if i worked super hard enough, i could actually do well. ever since PSLE and O levels, i already came to conclude that 'i never am good at studies anyway' but it was in poly that i found out that i can actually be quite good eh haha - IF and only if i worked hard enough.

after all that i had been through in poly. at the end of the day, i told myself that in that 3 years, i definitely gave it my all. as what everyone said and what i told everyone, 'i had no life in poly'. people asked me where i was going after school and i said i was going home. it was till a point when they gave up asking altogether cuz they knew that i was going home whenever anything in school had ended. after class, when we had a long break, especially in year 2, i was often in the library. looking back after graduating, i knew that whether or not i got into a local uni, i knew that i had done my best with 100% no regrets. no one could simply understand how happy i was to get into NUS. so it seems, my hard worked academic achievements paid off. at the same time, my CCA achievements also paid off.

no matter how tough it was in secondary school, up till now, i still feel that my life in Cedar Girls' Secondary School was the best time of my student life to-date. no matter how much of 'no life' i had in Temasek Polytechnic, i made the closest friends i could find now. it was only then that i realised that i could actually 'study' haha.

so now, 1 semester in NUS has gone by. to be honest, i felt like i was a lost sheep. time went by so quickly, week after week. one one moment it was mid-terms and the next moment, it was finals. i know i am not going to be able to do well in sem 1.1. sem 1.2 is coming up and once again, whatever poor results i may get, i will do my best to improve it cuz i know that i had not given my all in sem 1.1. i honestly felt very lost. poly and uni is a whole lot different - very, very different. even though the structure is the same - tutorials, lectures and mid-terms - in terms of level of competitiveness and level of difficulty, it is way higher. in sem 1.1 in NUS, i realised that the methods i used for poly did not work for uni at all cuz things are different. already having gone through sem 1.1 in NUS, i now have a rough idea how i should go about dealing with the upcoming semesters and my remaining 3.5 years in NUS. i wont give myself too much pressure cuz i know that too much pressure will only bring about a negative effect for me. i have already identified lots and lots of mistakes i made in sem 1.1 and i will work my way in improving them as i go on in obtaining my degree. :)

i know im definitely not going to do well for the first semester in my uni life. i know it - but i'll work hard in the coming semesters :) getting into my dream school does not mean this is the end of my hard work cuz i have not graduated yet. ;)

actually, not only this. other interesting things have happened in these 6 months too! hmm but dont think i have the time to write them now. will do so when i have the time again! :D not only interesting things that have happened, there are also so much more upcoming events to look forward to too! stay tuned! (that is if i have the time, or whether i feel like... hahaha)

ciao for now! (for now? or forever from this blog? i seriously dont know! i'll be here again when im free i guess) :) :) :) :) :)

2011-05-28T16:17:00.005+08:00

yes, i will start loving my life from today. today today today. so means i have actually already started loving my life +)

dream school, desired course, flexible work hours, dogwalking at SPCA and TOUCH RUGBY (so it's confirmed!!!!!)!!!!!!!! omg what more can i ask for?! (okay wait, there's still my driving HAHA! BTT on 1st June!!! scaredy scaredddd...) i am literally living my dreams!!!!! how can i not love my life right now?! it's not possible! im totally loving it. what a great kick start to a whole new life and mindset. :)

however, one very disappointing thing happened today... i injured myself!!!....... and the "best part" is that i didnt even realise i've strained my muscle until i started running. -_- if people know me well enough, i am someone who is able to tolerate pain. so when the pain caused me to tell the guys that i've got to stop in the mist of playing touch rugby today, then it's gotta be kinda serious... it really is painful... i could barely run! now, i can barely walk properly -_- well, at least the position of the strain has been located, unlike earlier this morning when i didnt even know where exactly the strain was. so at least i can start focusing on that injured part, now that i have located it..

okay on a happy note, I FINALLY GOT MY RUGBY BALL PUMPED!!! papa bought this for me when he went to South Africa last year!! +) can start to practise passing the ball hehe.

okay, im greedy, i want the NEW ZEALAND ALL BLACKS ONE!!!!!! haha cuz they are who i really support +)

no no no, this is not a rugby ball but a rugby ball BREAD!!!!! OMG IT'S DARN NICE!!!!!! this was bought from BreadTalk in Beijing earlier this year! omg darn yummy manz! it's really huge for a bread - and i still ate it all HEHE :P told you im greedy! :P i havent seen it in Singapore yet though! really yummy and big hmm but a little ex to me!

yay finally bought my shades! bought it in Beijing! cheap and nice!! i like it!! it costs less than S$10!! okay but what is most interesting about this picture is the HALO ABOVE MY HEAD HAHAHA!!!!!! no editing has been done to this photo, it's original!! so y'all can slowly guess how this halo above my head came about! :P okok i know i aint an angel but i think this pic is quite nice and cool leh hehehe.

`really hope i can recover soon and play touch rugby!!! im really "dying" to play!! really love it loadssssss.

`BTT on 1st June!!! really gotta pass, or i'll be "deaddddd".

`JIAYOU SZE! :)

`now watching: Sisters Of Pearl aka 掌上明珠! not bad not bad this show not bad!!

2011-05-11T21:25:00.003+08:00

havent been blogging as often as before eh but whatever, here i am now! >.<

im totally loving my life right now. :) :) i got into my dream school (my 20th birthday wish came true!!), i got into the course i really wanted, im fulfilling my dream of volunteering at the SPCA (finally after so many years!!), im finally able to handle dogwalking alone, i managed to get a job with such flexibility... hahaha so what next, touch rugby??! heh heh i'll update by the end of this week! :P (we'll see if i really do HAHA!)

so now that work has started (my first day today!), no more late nights! gotta start hitting the sack early cuz it really is hard to concentrate when i have a lack of sleep! i dont want to feel all puffed up too!! so yep yep, no more late nights! :)

`now watching: Beauty Knows No Pain, 女人最痛.
i thought this show isnt nice cuz i heard that the ratings in HK werent as good but but but, this show IS nice!! furthermore, some parts they mentioned about women seems sooooo true!!! >.<

`oh yes and i HAVE to mention this, DONUT is my number 1 favourite at the SPCA!!! :D :D :D yes, on one hand, i really like her loadssss but on the other hand, i dont want to see her at the SPCA again cuz i really hope that she finds a loving new home really really soon! she's simply tooooo sweet to be staying at the SPCA! she ought to find a loving new owner reallll soon! im so gonna make it a point to walk her whenever i have the chance now! :) :)

2011-04-29T15:41:00.002+08:00

'there wont be any rainbows without a little rain' - quoted from Jia Yuan's birthday card to me this year!

so yeah, everything's more or less settled. i've already found a job and now, what remains is the approval from the Head. hopefully it gets approved and i'll be offered the job! love the flexibility. really hope i'll get the job. :)

OH YEAH and so today was my official first day at the SPCA! im sooooooo glad it didnt rain - it was so sunny and i love it - or i'll be so disappointed cuz i've been looking forward to it for quite a while. simply love being around the doggies. :) so yeap, my first dogwalking experience and im lovin' it! <3

i thought i knew relatively a lot about doggies but as compared to the experienced volunteers there, im definitely no where near them in terms of knowledge and experience. i definitely learnt a lot just from today's experience, such as putting on doggie collars/harnesses onto veryyyyyy excited doggies, and ways to avoid intimidating the doggies by towering over them when putting on the leashes (we should stand by their side instead). well im sure there're many more things that i'll pick up along the way. anyways, im simply loving the experience. :)

OH YES AND NOW I KNOW WHY PEOPLE WHERE CAPS!

it's to hide their very messy hair!! (well, okay, at least for me >.<) haha okay so here goes:

when you have long fringe and dont clip it up, it gets really weird (vain?!) when you have to constantly flick your fringe aside. furthermore when you perspire, your fringe will have lots of 'holes' that looks really eeeee.

when you have long fringe and clip it up, having to walk the doggies (sometimes 'brisk' walk), your hair tie will get loose. so when your hair tie gets loose, the sides of your hair gets really messy while your fringe stays flat - which means i look like a mad woman.

so what's solution to avoid looking unglam? WHERE A CAP HAHA! no one can ever see what's under the cap HAHAHA! yeap so today, all they saw was me having a nice pony tail but my fringe? the side of my hair? NO ONE CAN SEE HAHAHA! omg now i know why people wear caps manz!! so next time i have a bad fringe/bad hair day? WEAR A CAP! hahaha so next time you see me wearing one, you should know why! >.<

hehe and for remembrance, the first doggie i walked was Apostrophe and the second one was Seldom! :D :D awww such active cuties hahaha :D :D :D

2011-04-27T23:07:00.004+08:00

the truth really does hurt at times. whatever.

sometimes, i really just dont get it. is it true that parents never seem to see the merit of their own kids? it is true that they only see the merit of the other kids but not their own? is it true that they always hoped that their kids are just like their friends'/relatives', who seem to be always better than their own kids? is it true that they like to compare their kids with others, and often end up making their own kids sound worst?

sometimes, i really think that i've already done what i could but at times, the efforts just dont seem to be visible to you. probably to you, it just isnt enough. you're expecting even more, you want the best. you werent experiencing what i had gone through and probably, that's why you didnt understand. if one knows me well enough, im often the kind whereby when i am under immense pressure, i will appear not to care, which is the exact opposite to how actually react to the situation. i may look aloof but deep down, i really am concerned about the issue - i just dont show it.

with this transition between polytechnic and university, it's now the perfect time for me to fulfill my dreams and to do what i like - but you dont support one bit at all. there came the comparison of how your friends and relatives' kids are out there working. when i was stressed out with examinations and projects, all you said you saw was me watching tv 'all day' and being on the computer 'all the time'. i did my part on projects, i did study - you just didnt see it. what you saw was what i was doing during the 1/4 of my day. you did not see the other 3/4. yeah, now i've passed all my subjects and have done reasonably well, so 而家你講乜都得o架啦。

im not shooting anyone but im just pouring my feelings out cuz i was upset. it probably is hard to always meet high expectations that every parent has on their kid. i know where they were coming from but im sure that i wont fully understand their viewpoint until i am a parent myself. however, up till this point, yeah, im upset cuz we do not see eye-to-eye at this point in time. the issue is about me wanting to fulfill my dreams (volunteer @ SPCA, taking up Kickboxing, learning to drive), while they want me to work. i want to enjoy my life now cuz i know how hard it is gonna be once i graduate from university (competition in the work force). furthermore, upon graduation from university, it is definite that i will find a job immediately and upon finding a job, there will never be such breaks for me to fulfill my dreams anymore, to enjoy life as a student and to just enjoy the moment.

i've said that i will definitely get a job before university starts but i can tell that y'all seriously doubt i'll ever find one before university starts in August. y'all have been pressurising me into getting a job ever since my last paper. i thought i could fulfill my dreams and relax at the same time but now, i guess that apart from sticking to my own plan of fulfilling my dreams, i'll have to start finding a job to appease them. yeah i know that fulfilling my dreams and working at the same time is gonna be really hard but what to do - cuz im not gonna give up my dreams and while at the same time, i'd like them to stop critising me, which gets annoying.

i'd like to say that i definitely do understand that parents do want the very best out of their kids. it's just that not being a parent at the moment, im just not able to see it from their perspective. now, all i want to do is to fulfill my dreams and to appease them at the same time, even if i know that it's gonna be tough.

what to do, i cant get the best of both worlds.

thank goodness for me writing this post cuz it got my thoughts sorted out. now i know what i should do.

whatever. yeah.

2011-04-14T17:25:00.002+08:00

呢張係前幾日拍o架！

老豆真係好錫我，我知o架！多謝老豆今日車我去呢度，車我去嗰度！希望唔會白費到啦，希望我入得去！！：）真係好感動同埋感謝呀老豆！！＜3 ＜3 ＜3

而家睇緊：「秋香怒點唐伯虎」幾好睇o架！！陳豪真係好好笑！

2011-04-08T17:24:00.005+08:00

Ruco Chan 陳展鵬 - new "boyfriend" HAHA! quite a number of people have been telling me to "change boyfriend" ever since bad press came for Raymond Lam hahaha! im still okay with Raymond Lam, love his music! :D

Ruco Chan 陳展鵬. seems like a rising star from TVB? the first drama i saw him was A Great Way To Care and i found him not bad looking. then the second drama i saw was The Threshold Of A Persona. wah, darn hot HAHA! in that drama, not only was he good looking, i found him a good actor too! that's an objective view. oh and yes, FOR THE FIRST TIME, MY MAMA AGREES! so i guess that statement i made (handsome + acts well) do carry some form of weight haha.

anyways, i feel that he's very natural in the way he act. he can act good and bad - versatile, good eh! when he act good, he has the very goody, decent and professional businessman look. when he act bad, he's naturally darn cool, especially in When Lanes Merge!

recently, i've been seeing him in many dramas, which is GOOD! good looking, can act, can sing, gentlemanly (from interviews) and he's FIT! wah haha! hmm i somehow think he is a rising star? i hope so! i feel that he's quite a 'steady' artiste. :D

here's how he looks like - he's the one on the RIGHT during the interview!! :D :D :D

2011-04-04T02:41:00.003+08:00

gorgor, wendy and i went to the pet shelter earlier today - and i think i've fallen in love, for real!! omg i super love Dinner!!! he's such a friendly sweet gentle giant! anyone would have melted for what he did today.. i was sitting on a bench patting a doggie when Dinner came up and squeezed beside me. haha so i ended up patting 2 doggies at the same time. when i got distracted and stopped patting Dinner, he would use his paw to "pat" me so that i would continue patting him. he was really so sweeeeeeet.

wendy later went to walk Grace, another doggie, and we followed. after which i totally forgot about Dinner cuz there were simply so many other doggies around. haha i later went around patting the other doggies who are longing for loveeeee, of which the other volunteers are more than willing to shower them with. somehow later, i spotted Dinner sitting on the table and so, i sat on the chair and started to pat Dinner - yep so he was there on the table, while i was on the chair HAHA! he is really such a sweet doggie!! while i was patting him with one hand, my other hand rested on the table. so guess what Dinner did? omgggggg he put one of his paw onto my hand that was resting on the table!!!! ahhhh so sweeeeeet. he later also automatically gave me his paw and i shook it. after shaking it, he didnt move away his paw! hahaha so we ended up posing haha!! i rested my elbow on the table, with my palm facing upwards, holding Dinner's paw, while my other hand continued to pat Dinner. it was then that i started to feel attached to Dinner! when i gave Dinner treats, he would very gently take the snack from my hand - and i really mean very very gently, as if he was afraid that he would accidentally bite me - omg he's simply such a sweet gentle giant!!! it was then that i think im relatively safe to say that though it's only my first time there at the pet shelter, im already loving Dinner.

before bedtime, i was talking to my mama about it and she had to admit that Dinner is really such a sweet doggie. haha she said she even wanted to see him.. haha.. and how i WISH we could adopt Dinner.

gorgor seems to like Dinner too cuz before Dinner came squeezing up beside me on the bench, gorgor had been patting him. he had also "warned" me before that Dinner liked squeezing up beside you for a good pat hahaha. wendy also like Dinner too!! heh heh but she said Ricky's her favourite. for me, it has gotta be Dinner!!

many many many people know that i have been longing for a dog since 2004. for many years, i had been persuading my parents for a doggie but they simply refused. there were times, to the point whereby i would visit the SPCA website's Adoption Gallery almost daily. i often researched about doggies to know more about training them and the various breeds. sometimes when i couldnt sleep at night, i would even think of doggie names that i could give the doggie IF we were to eventually have one. yep, years of desperate attempts to convince my parents obviously failed and so, i gave up completely - no more visiting of SPCA's Adoption Gallery, no more read-ups on dog trainings and research on the various dog breeds.

it was only until very recently that my brother really really wants a dog too! hahaha and so my "drive" of wanting a dog came back again haha.. visiting the pet shelter earlier today and liking Dinner so much all the more made me want a dog all over again. i know that if my parents were to see Dinner, they would simply LOVE him too cuz he's simply so sweet. he'd most probably be the type that would cuddle beside you as you are watching TV.

i lost hope and gave up many years ago - and now, i see a hint of hope - but i know that no matter how much we persuade and how much my mama agreed that it was our fault (we didnt know proper dog care, being first time owners back then and lack of knowledge as compared to now) that resulted in our previous bad experience, i know deep in my heart that it is almost impossible that we will ever have a dog again. it's the hard truth but i guess i've got to accept it. accepting it is really hard though... it really makes me tear up. i think i might have even just cried cuz reality is sometimes, really really very hard to bear and accept.

laid on my bed for more than half a hour and i simply couldnt sleep. all i could think of was us adopting Dinner - which is of course not gonna happen. cant help but think and so, i couldnt sleep. thought of blogging to pour my feelings out. im feeling much better already and hopefully, i can have a good sleep after which. if i cant, 情越雙白線, here i come. :)

oh yes and i've got to say that Dinner's a really really really big doggie. Dinner was sitting straight up on the bench and so was i - and he's way taller than me - so you can imagine how big he is! hopefully i can have a picture with him the next we go again! :)

im declaring - I LOVE DINNER! :D :D :D :D :D

Dinner, the friendly sweet gentle giant! :D :D :D :D :D

2011-03-25T00:35:00.001+08:00

攬住枕頭喊嘅時，突然近諗會唔會同「施公奇案II」一樣，遲啲瞓嘅時在夢中有個神仙出現。。。哈哈。。。有時真係會諗下呢種傻事。。。

2011-03-15T22:23:00.003+08:00

just minutes ago, i had an argument with my papa. i was freaking pissed and walked off the room. back in my room, i thought for a while before going back again to give him a piece of my mind. after which, back in my room, i started to do some reflections of my actions and attitude towards my papa. i suddenly thought of a status that cheewai once put in facebook, 'Apologizing doesn't always mean that you are wrong, It means you value the relationship more than your ego'. i thought for a while before going back to my papa's room to bury the hatchet.

after reflecting, what i realised was that my attitude towards my papa was wrong. i dont know why but after i 'gave him a piece of my mind', back in my room, recollections of the past started flooding back. i dont know why but they just came flooding back. i still remember when i was younger - probably still in secondary school - my papa would always bring me out. knowing that i love dogs, he'd always bring me to the pet farm to look at the doggies on sale. he'd drive all the way to the pet farm in Lim Chu Kang, just so that i could see, pat and carry the doggies there. i still remember how happy my papa was when he saw how happy i was. i remember how he'd walk with me to almost every pet farm shop to look at the doggies.

a few days ago, i went cycling with 3b04 and we walked past the 'longkang' fishing area. it brought back memories of how my papa would always bring my gorgor and i there to fish when we were much younger. when i told him about it soon after, we talked about how much fun we had back then. we even recalled how the frogie we caught back then, chocked on the fish food we gave it to eat.

after all those memories came flooding back just now, i just felt so bad. i shouldnt have treated my papa the way i did before. i went back to bury the hatchet and saw his face. i dont know why but looking at his 'poor thing' face just made me feel so bad. okay, so i've already buried the hatchet with him and my mama witnessed it. so yeah, end of argument.

i just feel so bad cuz thinking back of how much he loves me, i shouldnt have been so rude.

yeah, we're grown ups now (if i even consider myself one), it's definitely of utmost importance to cherish every moment. it's no point having regrets in the future. i should have more patience and not hurt my parents with my insensitive words and attitude problem.

writing this post has sorted out my thoughts and will definitely serve as a reminder to myself that i should not be rude to my parents, or whatever that's bad.

i'll be patient. i'll cherish every moment. love y'all. :)

2011-03-11T12:15:00.004+08:00

omigosh, within less than a week, i've had 2 dreams about my final sem results and my final CGPA. maybe i shouldnt say 'dreams', i should say 'nightmares'.

the last time i dreamt about receiving results was about 3 years ago, regarding my Os. oh wells, i really dont know what to expect this time but it sure doesnt look good though... ahhhh i dont wanna think about it anymore, i shall just enjoy my 1-2 weeks break before i start my volunteering, job hunting and driving enquiry. i just want to keep my mind off everything and have a good break in this 1-2 weeks. i dont know why i cant seem to enjoy this break of mine cuz i keep having so much worries and of which, i dont know why for. maybe im just thinking too much? i really hope so.. hope everything'll turn out fine.. ahhhh dont know lah.

anyways, moving away from such solemn topic - i met up with wenqin yesterday! wah out the whole day manz but it was great! i just love it when i meet friends and we talk as if it was the same years ago, with no sign of awkward silences. endless topics we have and i love it! we can simply talk about anything under the sun hahaha :D

we went to so many places yesterday - somerset 313, cineleisure, wisma, ngee ann city, ion wah anymore? hahaha lotsa places! we walked walked walked and talked talked talked a lot when we sat down to have our lunch and dinner. haha simply a greattt day out to spend with one of my truest friends everrrr :D and such friends would never fear to be true and frank with you.

it's no point with friends who always say nice things to you but never mean what they say. i truly treasure friends i have who are true with their words, even if it's the ugly truth. :) anyways, thanks for the great day out wenqin!

oh yes and we also watched The Adjustment Bureau yesterday at cineleisure! i find the movie not bad leh! i kinda like the idea. not an action packed movie but it's one that you really have to listen. heh heh i understood the movie!! proud of myself hehe. this movie somehow reminds me of Inception, dont know if some of you feel the same way.

oh my and i didnt know Mat Damon is so good looking!! to be frank, i've never watched any of his shows before. even if i did, i never really had a good look at him until this movie, which focused a lot on his face. oooo nice blue eyes haha and wow, his character in the show is so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! really really sweet character and shows much he loves the girl. sweet ehhh. +)

there was one part when he told the girl, 'im sorry that i love you' and 'im sorry that i hurt you'. HAHA AND THEN I WAS THINKING, 倪安东?! HAHAHAHA!!!

oh yeah whole day out and so, definitely there were things that caught my eye - handbag from Zinc & Charles and Keith, and the Converse mini boot shoes!!!!!!

both are of the same price and im currently contemplating between the half (left) and the full (right) one. sad thing is that the 'full' one cant seem to be folded! i remember some of them can be folded but when i went into the Converse shop yesterday, seems like it cant and didnt seem to be designed for that purpose. im looking more at the 'half' one though but you know me hmm, ficklemindedness.

oh yeah and i saw nice pumps at Ion too!! haha but no no, i currently have enough already, so no more pumps for me. :) yep and so if i were to buy the Converse shoes, on top of the pumps, no more buying of shoes too, until the current ones give way.

okok i know im wordy but just wanna pour everything out, rather than keeping them to myself rightttt. haaa. okok. ciao ciao.

`now watching: 老友狗狗.

2011-03-10T11:04:00.007+08:00

haha omg darn cute! it's my cousin's doggie sleeping!! cute rightttt +)

this was how my nails looked like in December 2009. wow, how time flies. anyways, yeashhhh, that is the pink nail polish that i am currently looking for! i want that one!!! at least i have a clue now, it's the pink nail polish for the french manicure!! :D

haha i've decided to put some pictures cuz my blog has always been wordy. hmm but pictures will depend on my mood though cuz if you dont already know, i currently dont like taking pictures - i look freaking fat, that's why haa.

anyways, SPCA orientation will be on the 23rd, which means i will then know my allocation days. after which, i will then be able to determine if i'll be taking up the job at MJ at Heartland Mall!!! omg, so near my house lah!! for SPCA, i indicated that im available from Mondays to Fridays but i still dont know which days i will be allocated to. as much as i hope that it'll be on all 5 days, i somehow hope that there would be some flexibility, so that i could take up the job at MJ?

anyways, lots of things on my agenda! apart from having the MJ job in mind, i'll also have to enquire about the mini job ad placed outside a bookstore at Heartland Mall too!! hopefully that one is hiring part-timers, instead of full-timers like MJ?? ohhh pretty pretty please - HAHA reminds me of F***in' Perfect by P!nk!

another thing will be my driving!! yes yes yes, since it's my super long break now, it's the best time to pick up driving!! luckily my parents mentioned, if not i'll just waste this best timing to!! okay, so the other thing on my agenda is to enquire about it at Kovan MRT, which has an outlet!! wah hahaha Kovan has become one of the most convenient places everrrrrr, seems to have everything now?? hehe even if it doesnt have, nex would probably have it? - so near my house ^.^

yep yep i'll be learning to drive, with the goal to eventually drive this dream car of mine - this model, this colour - i'll be working really hard for it! :) this picture is taken from the Mercedes website itself. this model is the Mercedes SLK-Class, if i am not wrong. dream car dream car - yes, cuz it all starts with a dream. :)

OH YES AND WHAT A DREAM (literally sleeping dream) TODAY! i dreamt that sotong and squid were together - dont know to be happy or sad HAHA WHATEVER! YES, WHATEVER! i wont think about it anymoreeeeeee, yay +)

i actually would, if you still or again.

2011-03-07T17:20:00.007+08:00

muahahaha look at the heads MUAHAHAHA

recently, all the memories came back and so, i decided to post this up but at the same time, not wanting to create unnecessary rumours because of the original picture.

i still remember your attitude about a year ago, which made me realise how much you really didnt care anymore. UP TO YOU LA - i'd never forget that. i changed my mind then, like how i could change me mind now to post it haaa.

anyways tada, so here's what came out after some playful editing haha. sweet eh? HAHAHA it's kinda easy to guess the imposed heads actually! :P

'im not sure if you know this but you really mean a lot to me. during O levels, my mum told me to say some prayers before each paper, but do you know that whenever i do so, i pray for you too'

'i know myself that once i have decided on something, i'll stick with it and be devoted to it forever. i really hope that something is you'

i bet the person who wrote that dont even remember but whenever i come across it, i'd feel touched every single time. i seriously wonder if the writer's really that devoted but i doubt so cuz such things only happen in dramas right!!

if the writer hadnt mentioned, i doubt the girl would ever know? the girl probably was still young then? i still think the writer's sweet - how would you not agree?

~sotong-squid.

-The End-

yep, it's the end - not the end of my life lah! end of story!

the end, for once - and for all.

2011-03-02T15:18:00.001+08:00

依然係諗緊要唔要開個twitter或者微博account。hmm但係認真嘅諗下，咁多account來做乜。係囉。okay，最後決定，唔要啦！:D

講得啱，做咗決定之後，無再提、無再講、無再諗。yes.

廣東話真係好好玩！！
哈哈想繼續講但係唔知講乜。

886！＞。＜

haha it's really fun to know and learn all the cantonese slangs!! :D :D

2011-03-01T21:32:00.005+08:00

陪著你一起，但有著距離
如拒我千里，偏偏記起

- 我們很好 (cantonese version) by 林峯

i really thought this part of the lyrics is so true at times!! i told myself that if i have the time, i'd give credit to this part of lyrics! haha and so here's a post for it. :) i truly admire these song writers and their ability to write such meaningful lyrics that at times, people like me can really relate to!!

anyways, 2 albums that im really anticipating!! first is 林峯's first mandarin album and the other is SIMPLE PLAN!!!!! omg i cant wait for SP's album!! You Suck At Love is sounding really good!!! waiting waiting waiting waiting for the albums to be releaseddddddd. +)

haha but for now, current song craze: 兩生關 by 謝安琪!!

i thought the very first day of my life after my final paper at TP was kinda interesting. heh heh. slept at 5am, woke up at 12pm and realised it was still early - so slept till 2pm haha! continued lying on my bed while using my itouch till about 2.45pm. after which, used the computer and became kinda engrossed with it. then ate my first meal of the day at 4pm. coooooooool. after which, continued to use the computer till dinner time at 7.15pm. i wasnt that hungry but ate anyway. just a little though cuz i was afraid of getting gastric if i ate too much at one go, like yesterday. wah yesterday's gastric was terrible but phew, still managed to survive it through. :)

guess i've got to apply for the remaining unis by this week. these kind of things, i cant delay, cant afford to miss the deadline righttt.

oh yeash, gonna cut my nails and get them painted! i've been wanting to do that since CNY but was simply too busy then. heh heh now im freeeeeeeee whoohooo!

now watching: 鐵馬尋橋. just feel so happy that im able to watch dramas without worries now heh heh. +)

so in the meanwhile, im waiting for SPCA's reply and at the same time, taking a break for awhile before getting a part time job. yes cuz i really need a break. hadnt had one since last year and wow, it's close to a year even. yeaaappp, enjoying my long-awaited break now! :D

`hope everything'll turn out fine..

2011-03-01T02:55:00.007+08:00

it's over. it's over at TP. it's over. everything's over.

after last paper yesterday, went out with my classmates for dinner, talked-talked and walked-walked. love their company!! really. :)

yep so we went to tampines mall and i bumped into cheewai and eben haha what a coincidence!

dont know why but i was so full of energy yesterday! usually after about 6pm, i'd "shut down" but i didnt feel that at all! i was simply full of energy till i reached home haha and so much so that very very very surprisingly, i didnt fall asleep during my 45 minutes bus ride home!

okay so to the gist of my post today - hehehe im gonna talk about the HK drama 富貴門 aka Born Rich that i just chiong-ed finish a few minutes ago!!!! omg super good show!! i was chasing this drama like mad throughout!! just kept chasing and chasing and chasing cuz it's super nice and excitingggggg. kept talking to myself, especially in the last few episodes HAHAHAHA super irritatedddd but nvm, this proves that the script is really well written rightttt! haha it sure is!!

SPOILERS:

okay so i really thought Rene (Anita Yuen) would die!!!!! haha cuz i read from some article that she would die but it turned out that she didnt!!!! hahaha GOOD that she didnt die, i was so happy! oh ya and i really thought she was very compatible with Topman (Joe Ma)! i just love it when they bicker with one another haha!! i find her pretty leh! i love her character! super cute! hmm but she's quite fierce too, both in the show and real life i heard. oooo and i find some resemblance... hmm haha and 頂姐! i bet when my father watches this show, he'll start calling me that HAHA whatever but i think she's super cute leh! the first time i saw her act in Love Exchange, i found her quite cute already and when she acted this show, i started to like her leh haha! im straight lah! like her as in like her as an actress lah!

anyways, when i first saw Marcus (Ray Lui), i thought of him as 'okay' looking and that his cantonese wasnt as fluent. went to check and found out he was born in Vietnam, cooooool. anyways, didnt really notice or thought much about his acting until the last few episodes. WAH HE CRIED - the scene where Connie (Jaime Chik) wanted to patch up with him. haha didnt expect that he was able to literally cry. that was quite touching! oh ya and i realised he's quite fit too, especially for someone his age hehe. ooo and the last part whereby he tried to save his family from the bomb Sa Fu Loi (Gallen Lo) planted, wah his acting looked so real - he really looked so panicky and frantic!! haha!

yessss and i was so angry with Sa Fu Loi - he's so bad!!!!! okay, so means Gallen Lo's a good actor, can make me so angry haha! the last few episodes where he found out he was tricked by Rene, wah his acting darn good. can see his anger and the tears, wah looks so real! no wonder so many people say that he's a good actor! i thought Sa Bo Loi (Kenneth Ma) was not bad. his character was so innocent and naive! this show made me realise he's quite a good actor actually, quite versatile!

anyways, Born Rich, in my opinion, REALLY GOOD SHOW!!!!! :D :D

my current song craze is Born Rich's sub-themesong 兩生關 by 謝安琪!! super nice song!! loving it like mad, playing non-stop!!

hahaha okay so next up, A Fistful Of Stances aka 鐵馬尋橋!

anyways, this coming week will be packed of outings for me! tuesday wednesday rest, thurdsay friday saturday sunday OUT! :D

oh yes and the registration to volunteer my services at the SPCA will be faxed tmr, hope to hear from them! :D finally my wish of volunteering at the SPCA can be fulfilled! :D

2011-02-20T16:17:00.002+08:00

headache, stuffy nose, phlegm, backache, cramps.. all happening concurrently at the wrong time.. pull yourself together sze, you can do this!! just 2 papers and you're done! dont let yourself down. so, give it your all for the very last time at TP. you can do this.

it's now or never.

NOW.

25 February 2011, Friday
Managerial Accounting 2

28 February 2011, Monday
Legal Aspects of Business

i can do this.

pull yourself together.

pay now, play later
or
play now, pay later

im given a choice,
and i choose the former.

till 28 February, ciao for now.

2011-02-17T01:07:00.004+08:00

confidence shattered in all aspects.

i've got to really thank those who've tried to restore the confidence i once had in myself.

thank you. :)

time, time, time, is all i need but how much time do i have left?!

cant help but be biased with my thoughts at times when i feel so lost and helpless.

a song that has touched me and a song that can bring me to tears. here's part of the lyrics to the song that i can really relate to:

just like all the seasons never stay the same
all around me i can feel the change

i will break these chains that bind me
happiness will find me
leave the past behind me
today my life begins
a whole new world is waiting
it's mine for the taking
i know i can make it
today my life begins

yesterday has come and gone
and i've learnt to leave it where it is
and i've seen that i was wrong
for every doubting i could win

life's too short to have regrets
so im learning how to leave it in the past
and try to forget
we only have one life to live
so you'd better make the best out of it

-Today My Life Begins by Bruno Mars.

sometimes i really wonder why i work so hard for... but at the end of the day, i know why. :)

i know i can achieve what i've set my mind to. i know it. and so i can. i know it.

it all starts with a dream, doesnt it?

2011-02-07T00:36:00.002+08:00

i realised that once i've put my mind to something, nothing can stop me. yes.

oh la la, i sense an upcoming diarrhea. hope i'll be fine by the time im in school later today.. dont know what has happened to my system, hadnt been feeling that well since last week - nausea and stomachache.. cant be food poisoning lah. probably got to do with all the rubbish i've been eating all these years.. so i guess my body's finally reacting to all those nonsense food. with all those symptoms, it's a good thing though - cuz my body's finally telling me to stop.

yay i can sense my birthday wish coming true. :)

anyways, just 23 more days.

i can do it.

i'll break the chains that bind me, so that happiness can find me. :)

final examination at TP:

15 February 2011
International Business end-semester test

25 February 2011
Managerial Accounting 2 examination

28 February 2011
Legal Aspects of Business examination

no matter what, i'll still give them my best shot - cuz i still have another birthday wish awaiting to come true. :)

2011-02-06T15:45:00.005+08:00

im really tempted to sign up for weibo or twitter!! hmm but im always having second thoughts and hence up till now, i still dont have an account for either one of them haha.. what's holding me back is that i already have facebook and a blog, which deem weibo or twitter unnecessary for me. well even i, myself, wont know whether i'll eventually open an account haha though i doubt so? HMMM.

anyways, current song craze:

Sorry That I Loved You by 倪安东 aka Anthony Neely
-recommended by Hui Fang!

Today My Life Begins by Bruno Mars
-recommended by Amandal!

haha and i just love it when people introduce new songs to me!! :D

2011-02-01T23:56:00.007+08:00

'something wrong' is what i use to describe this day. blahhhhh.

got back POE today and was shocked. totally dumbfounded. i really never expected that. also, never knew that i was so news-worthy, news spread darn fast within our class but it's okay cuz my classmates are super nice people. furthermore, i trust that they wouldnt snigger behind me. i felt the concern from them because of the number of people who came up to me. there were quite a number but below are those who left me an impression.

special thanks to:
xianglong for comforting me while we were all walking to the bus stop after IB test
amandal for your packet of super cute Tom & Jerry tissue paper
huifang for cheering me up with your lameness :P
danial for your sweeeeeet sms - 20 smileys! :D
longjie for your encouraging and comforting sms
kenneth for telling me that i could review my paper

im still trying to figure out what went wrong and have been reflecting quite a bit since then... i suppose i wont comment much till i've reviewed my paper.

whatever it is, i believe everything happens for a reason. up till this point, i have yet to find the reason - but i'll find it soon.

what im upset about is as if all my efforts had been washed down the drain - 3 years effort. the sweat and tears i put into achieving the results i've achieved today - to be destroyed. i really dont know what went wrong or what is going on... i guess i'll need some time to do some reflecting...

i really dont know what else to say except that im really upset, disappointed and... i dont know, i really dont know. whatever but i know that this will not be the end of me. i'll come back up even stronger. i refuse of succumb to this setback.

sometimes, when one is at his/her rock bottom, one tend to think of nonsensical stuff - well at least for me... thinking back on the release of POE results, there were many people who did relatively well. i know of classmates who do not go for lectures and are often out enjoying their teenage life but yet, were able to score well. this made me think of what the hell im doing. i attend all lectures, i do my tutorials, i revise my work, i dont go out during school terms but yet, i got this. thinking it through, what am i?? what the heck is wrong with me?? im not fishing for sympathy, neither am i calling out for any unfairness but i think this highlights that i have to review what i have been doing. the formula for me at this point doesnt seem to be right.

well, as i've said, when you are at rock bottom, you tend to think of all these nonsensical things. this was what came to my mind when i was emo-ing. whatever it is, i wont give up and i'll continue to do my best. i wont and refuse to give up because of this. at least my conscience is clear - i did my best. i did not do anything that i could put the blame on for my POE result.

i did my best, my conscience it clear - this is the best thing i can say to myself right now.

i'll bounce back - soon.

2011-01-08T23:21:00.002+08:00

today was definitely a day worth remembering. here's the gist:

a picture says a thousand words-

our first, both consenting, official photo taken together! :)

it was his Basic Military Training (BMT) Graduation Day today. +)

omg tell me when was the last time it was just the 2 of us taking a photo together?? it's definitely more than 10 years ago... but whatever, really happy! really like this photo :D

MY FIRST PHOTO WITH MY BROTHER <3

yes and i can finally say that i now have a brother - a brother who really exists. :) :) :)

2011-01-03T23:10:00.005+08:00

now that 2010 is already a thing of the past, i confess that my 2010 hadn't been a good year. so what's the past, is the fact, the past. it's now time to move on to a brand new chapter of my life. :) :) :)

.2011.
新的一年，新嘅開始！

2010-12-29T17:25:00.003+08:00

finally decided to do away with the tagboard - the recent flooding of spam messages got really annoying. i've now enabled the 'comments' section instead. i've enabled the 'word verification' too, to deter spammerssss.

oh yeah, another 2 changes - the title of the blog and no more french wordingssss. hmm i really like the idea of having the dates in french but if i continued so, the instructions to how you should go about leaving a comment would also be in french. i only took basic french, so it may be a tiny bit of a challenge to fully understand those instructions, of which will be even more so of a challenge for those who have never taken french. so yep yep, back to english. :)

`hadnt had a rest day in... months? yep and even more of 'no rest days' in the 2 full months to come. whatever it is, i'll give it my all. last chance!!

`突然間諗通咗幾啲嘢。好嘢。:）

2010-12-26T17:08:00.003+08:00

i was looking them through and i guess it was the right decision afterall. i'd never fit in. it's probably some issues that i have with myself now. all i require is to gain back my confidence again. till then, i'll never feel that i'll fit in. i know that i am definitely over-thinking but till i find myself again, i wont feel at ease. hope y'all understand and dont hate me for that. :)

i'll start reconnecting again, just as soon as i find back my confidence. i definitely will. give me some time and i'll start joining y'all and reconnecting with y'all again - cuz i'll never want to lose such close relationships/ friendships with y'all. :)

y'all must be thinking that im 'introverted', being 'anti-social', 'dont care' about these relationships/ friendships or whatsoever but it's never true. just give me some time to find myself and till then, i'll start reconnecting again. i will. :)

2010-12-25T16:19:00.003+08:00

very hectic semester!

anyways, cool, the year is coming to an end... shall not comment anything on 2010 till it's over. :)

oh and the spam from my tagboard is really getting out of hand... there's nothing much i can do though, just as long as i dont click on those links... it doesnt look 'safe'.

hmm it's been really quiet here but whatever, it doesnt really matter cuz i'm writing all this for memory's sake. :) how nice it'll be when i can reminisce the past when i grow up. :) ooo and this reminds me that i ain't very young anymore - i'll soon no longer be a 'teen' - but i'm still as kiddish as ever haha...

gotta get back to work - SIP report! positive note is that my inspiration to write the report is there and the ideas keep flowing, so it's all good. gotta keep on going, deadline's approaching real soon!

`6kg to my target weight. so you shut up.

2010-12-08T23:41:00.005+08:00

current song craze: Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance.

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

the guitars are great, especially the one around 2 minutes plus into the song! the song is super catchy. love the beat!!

apart from that song, im also listening to "old" songs, which were released a few years back. still cool! :)

~Smack That by Akon Ft. Eminen - this reminds me so much of Cedar days!

~三十日 by 侧田 (Justin Lo) - kinda a sweet love song. i feel that his voice is good!!

~All About Us by t.A.T.u - reminds me so much of my secondary school days when i used to always watch the MTV programme on the top 10 songs!

in the meanwhile...

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

hahahaha

`bracing myself for my last and final hectic semester that's gonna hit me real soon. i can feel it. im giving it my all. CHARGEEEEE!

2010-12-05T23:42:00.005+08:00

the 43rd TVB Anniversary Awards ceremony just ended about half an hour ago - live telecast!! before i comment on anything, here are the results!

best series: Can't Buy Me Love

best actor: Wayne Lai (No Regrets)

best actress: Sheren Tang (No Regrets)

best supporting actor: Evergreen Mak (No Regrets)

best supporting actress: Fala Chen (No Regrets)

my favourite male character: Raymond Lam (The Mysteries Of Love)

my favourite female character: Charmaine Sheh (Can't Buy Me Love)

most improved actor: Raymond Wong

most improved actress: Natalie Tong

wow! firstly, i have to say that Raymond Lam looks really handsome today! one of the most handsome moments of him that i've seen haha! really handsome! hehe.

anyways, didnt expect Raymond Lam to win the 'my favourite character' award - that was the surprise of the night! well but he won it, so he deserved it! :D

oh yes and i like Tavia Yeung's hair!! nah but too bad i dont dare to cut my hair short!

OH YA and how can i forget the funniest moment of the night! hahahaha! when the host ask Kate Tsui (who was sitting on the second row) who she thinks will win the best actress, she then said, '下邊嗰啲' HAHAHAHAHA OMG darn funny lah! i was practically laughing my head off!! i suppose she actually meant those sitting the row below her hahaha! so when everyone burst out laughing, the host and Kate quickly corrected to say, '下邊坐嗰啲' hahaha omg darn funny!!

. . . . . . . . . .

yep yep, first day of school tmr! omg and i have yet to pack my room!! it's full to the brim, i barely have any space on my table! it's practically filled with water bottles (filled) that i've "collected" during the course of my internship!

omg and i have yet to pack my previous semester's notes/ books. omg totally no space! gotta pack or i wont feel at ease. my room is in a total mess. arghhhhh. hate it when it's messy like this - no form of organisation - i like things to be organised. guess i'll get it done before i sleep, or i simply wont feel at ease. arghhhh.

2010-12-04T13:41:00.003+08:00

wow, it's hard to believe that our Student Internship Programme is over already. it just feels so sudden. it was just yesterday and today, im "free". i finally get back my flexible time hours, with more time to spare, instead of the fixed work time of 0845 to 1815.

to be honest, apart from the experiences that i've gained from this SIP experience, these 2 months plus at Maybank's Human Resource Department (Human Capital Management) changed my perspective on many things - and it is definitely in a positive way.

i have learnt to open up and not be so self-conscious about so many things - cuz im simply over-thinking sometimes. from the encouragements i had from my colleagues, i am starting to open up. i have started to agree on outings that im invited for. yes, i need to get a life. im living the life of an untypical person of my age. it's true. i need to start reconnecting again.

it's time i get a life.

get a life i ought to live.

hello world.

2010-11-28T11:54:00.004+08:00

im sick of it. i just dont feel like caring anymore - but i cant seem to bring myself to do it cuz i have learnt to cherish. i dont want any regrets in the future.

sick of all the quarrels. sick of being lashed at without making a sound. sick of it.

i shouldnt be making any conclusions now. let's play it by ear.

. . . . . . . . . .

westlife has a new album out and my current song craze is their new single, 'safe'! kinda a touching song. :) i like the way they sing it - with lots of feelings - like how they always do. <3

- 'if you lost your way, i will keep you safe'. :)

2010-11-07T22:52:00.007+08:00

whenever you feel angry, especially after a quarrel, take a look at the things that you have in your room - and think about who gave them to you.

the things that you use, the things that you own. who gave them to you. ask yourself, who.

when you look at those things, you recall the happy times - the process of buying those items. your indecisiveness, whether to buy or not to buy, and them giving their respective opinions on those items.

take a look around your room - your treasured possessions - and think to yourself, who bought them for you. who gave you the money to buy them. ask yourself, who.

stop being petty. be grateful, be thankful for what you have and what you are given. do not ever, ever take things for granted. cherish. cherish every moment.

2010-11-07T21:14:00.004+08:00

呢幾日都唔知發生咗咩事，成日同人哋吵，有尤其是係屋企人。。。尋日係媽仔，今日係老豆。好啦好啦，唔講就唔講啦。都唔理咁多啦。成日忍忍忍，唔出聲。。。我都係人o架，有脾氣，有感情o架。唔通俾你哋話都唔出聲咩。。。有時都覺得好唔底。有時真係激鬼死人。。。

每次吵完之後就會同自己講唔會再同你哋講嘢。。。但係次次都做唔到。。。諗諗下我都覺得自己好pathetic...連一個我可以講心事嘅人都冇。。。how freaking pathetic. too bad that i grew up in an environment that taught me not to trust anyone... 好啦，而家就冇一個我可以信任嘅人。每次覺得唔開心嘅時都係躲在一邊對著自己喊。 so freaking pathetic. blahhhhhh.

。。。。。。。。。。

頭先去剪頭髮，坐係嗰度望住自己，好清楚的睇都我個臉。。。亦係嗰事先至好清楚的睇到我而家有幾肥。。。我臉好似腫咗咁嘅？！真係好圓、好大、好肥、好腫。。。真係好嚇人。。。每次都冇旦好好嘅望住自己。。。因為覺得好醜樣。。。

我而家嘅自信心真係好低，冇旦好好嘅望住自己，冇旦去接受到我真係肥咗好多嘅事實。。。頭先在salon裡面我真係好唔想望住自己。。。好唔鐘意我睇到嘅嘢。。。

我覺得我應該要去接受我自己，如果真係好唔鐘意自己咁樣，我就要自己去爭取我理事嘅樣子，一個我可以接受同咪去愛惜嘅身體。我真係唔想繼續咁樣，因為這唔單之係好唔健康，亦都係好辛苦。。。我真係覺得好辛苦。。。已經三年啦。。。我真係好唔想繼續咁樣生活我嘅下半世。。。我要鐘意我所見到嘅自己。

我嚟緊嘅生日我諗我已經知道我嘅願望。亦就係完完全全嘅克服呢個好唔健康嘅生活。。。每次我望住自己，我要好鐘意我所見到嘅嘢。我要愛惜自己。我要好好嘅take care我自己嘅身體。雖然好想食我好鐘意嘅食物，但係我唔可以亂咁食。我要記住我要愛惜自己嘅身體，愛惜自己嘅健康同咪最種要嘅就係愛惜我自己。我希望我今次可以完全全嘅克服呢個"病"。希望下次見到你哋我就已經係瘦啲、靚啲。

i want to love the reflection i see in the mirror.

. . . . . . . . . .

-very amateur writing. forgive me for that.

2010-11-06T18:08:00.006+08:00

Tocktocktocktocktocktocktock.

Turns to look at my door.

Door opens.

Gorgor peeks into the room.

Gorgor: mama leh?

Me: she haven’t come back. She go out.

Gorgor: she coming back?

Me: don’t know erh. Quarrel with her. Don’t know if she’ll come back. Maybe she angry then wont come back. I don’t know.

Gorgor: quarrel over?

Me: just me and her ah. Just quarrel.

Gorgor: orh. Why your table so many water bottles?

Me: oh, from my internship. They give one. Then I collect.

Gorgor: got water not?

Me: got! got water!

Gorgor: collect for what?

Me: just collect lor. Then end of internship see how many I got.

Gorgor: orh.

Door closes.

HAHA COOL TO THE MAXXXXXXXX.

-those who know me well enough will know that this conversation is cool to the maxxxxxx hahaha

2010-11-06T15:51:00.007+08:00

how pathetic can you get? after a war of words out in public (well, at least discreetly), you then walked off with a word of 'bye' (with attitude). you proceeded to the machine to top up your ez-link cards and reflected upon your actions at the same time - only to realise that what you did was wrong.

with your conscience prickling you, made a call to apologise for what you had done earlier - and only to be thrashed. okay at least you deserved it, ha. you were ticked off and reminded of the sacrifices that had been made for you and you felt terribly awful. you held back your tears with all your might. you choked on the word 'bye', before hanging up the phone. you searched your bag for a tissue paper and quickly dried your eyes that was filled with tears. you faced the wall, praying hard that no one had seen your watery eyes.

realising that you couldnt take it anymore, you frantically searched for the signboard signaling the washroom. you spotted it and walked briskly, following the directions. at the same time, you used the tissue paper to dap your eyes dry, hoping that your eyeliner wouldnt be smudged. while you walked, you avoided eye contact, fearing that people might notice your red eyes.

as soon as you got into the washroom, you walked right in, into the very last cubicle at the end. you closed the cubicle door, hung your bag onto the hook, leaned against the side of the cubicle and started to cry. how pathetic is that??! omg!

you took out your mirror and whenever you saw your eyes welling up with tears, you quickly used the tissue paper to dry your eyes, fearing that they would smudge your eyeliner. after cooling down, you looked yourself into the mirror again, only to see how red your eyes were. you continued to stand there, looking 'emo'. you simply stood there and stared into space for i-dont-know-how-long, before looking into the mirror once again. when you noticed that your eyes werent that red anymore, you then used the same tissue paper (already soaked with tears) to dap your eyes dry once more and to clear your mucus. once you were done, you took out your music player and drowned yourself with the song, 'How To Break A Heart' by Westlife.

the lyrics are amazing but you knew that the story to the song had no relation to the cause of your quarrel. whatever but the song's fantastic anyway. you felt so much calmer. after which, you opened the cubicle door, walked towards the mirror, tried to look pretty before making your way back home via mrt.

for those who're curious to know the brand of the eyeliner (which didnt smudge!!), it's Silky Girl Liquid Eyeliner. ha, free advertisement! dont ask me how i know the brand!!

okok, so you felt super emo and simply wanted to be alone. you decided to alight at Serangoon Station (one stop earlier) and walked home. i suppose you hadnt walk that slowly before?? i think it's the slowest you've ever walk right!! the sun was scorching hot but you loved it. while the pedestrians were standing in the shade whilst waiting for the traffic light, you simply stood under the sun, wanting to soak in as much sunlight as possible - you loved it so much!

you walked so darn freaking slowly but you seemed to have arrived home within such a short period of time - much faster than you'd expected. whatever but im sure you enjoyed that walk so much - just you and your music player. how relaxing that was.

sometimes, you just feel so sick and tired. you keep telling yourself that you dont wanna care anymore but at the end of the day, you still care. okay at the very least, you do have a conscience.

okay... you have a conscience... (if that makes you feel better) but did you realise that sometimes, you treat others better than your own family members? here's an illustration...

you are out shopping and then someone accidentally steps onto your shoe. 2 scenarios: the first person who stepped onto your shoe is an outsider and the other is one of your family members. how ironic i feel cuz towards the outsider, you'd shake your head, smile and say, 'it's okay'. however, towards your own family member, you'd NOT smile but glare at them and say, 'ARGHHHHH OUCH!!!'

is that true for some of you?? to think back, isnt that kinda ridiculous? that you treat an outsider whom you have no relation to, so nicely and politely but yet towards your own family member, so rudely and impolitely?

to whoever: dont you think that we do not reflect on our own actions. we actually do (at least for me...). i do reflect on my actions after quarrels or whatsoever... dont you think that we do not care and would only know how to vent vent vent, give attitude attitude attitude and talk back back back. we do reflect too ks. we'd think back of how you had brought us up all these years and how much you love us all. we know it deep down in our hearts. 我哋心領，你哋放心。。。你哋對我哋嘅付出，我(哋)係知o架。。。。。。。

okok... i've said what i wanted to say. i really dont know what else you want from me........

for now, all i can say is:

'IM SORRY I CANT BE PERFECT'

SP rocks haha! +)

2010-10-24T18:51:00.004+08:00

the more i think about my results and how my peers faired, the more disappointed i get with my results. well, i guess i deserved it. wake up call. never to take things for granted. i deserved this lesson. i'll rectify the problem when the new (and last) semester begins. i will. im feeling it! :)

i just saw my timetable. looks not bad. however, i dont even know when school starts. heard it starts immediately after our SIP. cool. im okay with it. :) i finally understand the meaning of 'schooling is definitely better than working'. i finally fully understand the meaning of that now. schooling's better! +)

SIP's great so far, excellent colleagues and supervisor, especially. +)

anyways, i've been pigging out. dont be shocked when you see me - at my fattest stage now haha oops. yeah yeah yeah i know, time to keep fit. yeah. yeah. YEAH.

OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN.

2010-10-10T16:27:00.003+08:00

10/10/10. simply lovely. :)

workload is bound to increase but if you are happy working there, you just wouldnt mind.

anyways, i have created history - for myself. as far as i can remember, i have never taken a taxi to a place because i knew that i was going to be late. never. however, that changed on friday.

I TOOK A TAXI TO WORK.

omg, i myself cannot believe it. i left home at 7.50am and 136 came at about 8am - the 136 journey was... the uncle drove sooooo slowly and whenever the bus door closes, he'll pause for a few seconds before moving off - he does that at every stop!! i wonder whatever he does that for hmmm. ahhh but it always seem to be like that - when you are in a hurry, the bus travels ever-so-slowly. when you have plenty of time, the bus travels ever-so-fast.

arghhhhh anyways, arrived at my next bus stop at 8.10am. i told myself that if bus 70 came at 8.15am, i could still make it on time for work at 8.45am. 8.15am and 8.20am passed with no sign of the bus. i "asked" iris and at the reply was that 70 would arrive in 4 minutes time - 8.25am - which 100% indicates that i will be late for work. the subsequent bus will be there in 16 minutes time, which made me even more ahhhhhhhh. could take it no more and flagged down a cab - got one at about 8.25am. the taxi ride was about 15 minutes plus minus and i arrived at my workplace at about 8.40am. phew, just imagine if i took the bus...

so lesson learnt - Murphy's Law. whatever can happen, will happen.

now watching: 巴不得爸爸.

ooooh yes, raymond lam's concert DVD is out!!! im so gonna buy it but... it's kinda expensive... ouch. im already feeling the pinch for my taxi fare on friday and my procedure on saturday...

anyways, im starting to be aware of what's cheap and what's expensive already. so yep, i'll know how to be even more thrifty from now. :)

2010-09-24T22:45:00.004+08:00

blahhhhhhh, today no good - bad results, bad diet, bad routine. routine all haywire today - did not stick to anything. it's all wrong. today's all wrong. no more promises cuz they kept breaking time and again.

horrible diet. binged once i got home. have no idea whatever i did that for, now that i think of it - and i hate myself for doing that. i have decided to keep mum about all these stuff from now on cuz some things are better left unsaid. i kinda believe in that. gotta get rid of this obsession that is only complicating things up - it's true, come to think of it.

anyways, kinda disappointed with my results. results showed that i did poorly for all my end-sem papers - and i was kinda prepared for that, given my feelings after all the papers. im trying to think positive and to look on the brighter side instead of dwelling upon it, which will only make me feel upset and more demoralised that is of practically no use. well, one good point was that it was a slight improvement from last sem. just a slight improvement only though.. yeah yeah, cant be too greedy, given the high degree in the lack of confidence for all my papers.

i identified the problematic areas and learnt my lesson with regards to last semester - i did really poorly for all my mid-sem tests that eventually pulled down my overall grade in sem 2.2 - whereby this sem, i worked hard for my mid-sem tests and did pretty well. however, i didnt do so well for my end-sem papers. i have more or less identified the problematic areas this time in sem 3.1 and im gonna address to them full scale for my upcoming semester 3.2, which will be my very last one in Temasek Polytechnic. have to and will tune into full gear, please. it's my very last chance. cant afford mistakes again - mistakes committed in 2 semesters straight. this chain of mistakes has to be broken in sem 3.2. yes.

it's time to conduct a full review on myself. something definitely isnt right.

2010-09-21T23:18:00.002+08:00

oh la la got to reschedule my routine. after 2 days at internship, the routine i planned out isn't going according to plan. now that i have a taste of what life will be like for the next few months, i'll roughly know how to plan my days out (yay!) - i just love it when it's all planned out. :)

'fear of the unknown', yeah? +)

fine, i shall take the past 2 days as the "preview", going through the motion of my life as an intern, adapting and getting used to the routine. routine such as the time i wake up, time i leave home, time i arrive at my workplace, time for lunch with my fellow intern-mates, time i get back to the office after lunch, time i knock-off, time i reach home for dinner (and dinner only) + TVB time, time i keep fit (gotta get it into my routine), time i read the newspaper (gotta be consistent), time i bathe, time i update my logbook and the time i sleep . :)

yes, as mama said, 'routine can change!'. of course i'll not "die die" stick to it - have to be flexible at times too! sometimes, really will have to just play it by ear. :) yep yep.

i shall not feel demoralised - since most of you know that i'm a very systematic person and hate it when things don't going according to plan - for not sticking to the plan that i had arranged earlier, for i really hadn't had in mind as to what to expect. now i know though, which is goooood. :)

it's Day 2 and internship is looking good so far, though i have much room for improvements. i'm still learning. :) i love how my supervisor/colleagues provide me with necessary feedback, which enables me to be aware of the areas that i require improvements. i'll keep going! :)

time to update logbook and sleep!

`new routine kicks in tmr - can't wait to carry it out to prove that i have the determination to stick to it and to be consistent with it. i will love myself.

2010-09-19T15:41:00.005+08:00

dreamt of squid today. HMMMM. very interesting indeed. kinda sweet - the dream.

oh and i just thought of this phrase that i ever so believe in:
love takes two. :)

oh and i might just have invented one:
love is reciprocal.
agree?

ooooo i suddenly thought of the word 'déjà vu'. interestinggggg.

ahhhhhhh first day of internship tmrrrrrrrrr. a little scareddddd!

ooooo and i just realised that i seem to have mistook this blog for twitter hahaha.

2010-09-18T20:20:00.006+08:00

have been pigging out for 2 full weeks already and yes, it's now time to stop. yes. ever so glad for the part on self-awareness. self-awareness, finally.

just mapped out a plan on how i'll fit my internship and exercises together for the months ahead. the past 2 full weeks of pigging out already has its consequences on my weight and so yep yep, time to keep fit again! gotta start getting used to this routine that i've planned out for the coming 2-3 months, during the course of my internship!

yes, no point for just empty statements, complaints and grievances. no point. the main aim now is to carry out my schedule and to stick to it.

one added advantage to the part on me being a 'routined' person: once i get used to the routine, i wouldn't want it to be messed up, so i'd be more likely to stick to it. hence, main thing now is to get the routine into my system first.

gotta start getting used to it as soon as possible. new routine starts at 8.30pm today.

from the moment i embark on my new routine, i promise to love myself.

2010-09-17T23:06:00.002+08:00

darn! i think i'm falling ill and it seems like i always fall ill at the wrong time. i'd rather fall ill during my vacation, not during my exam period or like now, when my internship is about to start!!

anyways, did the "test route" to my workplace for internship that will commence on Monday today. wah, it was quite difficult to find!! i walked for like more than half a hour before finally finding it?? haha i have no idea cuz i forgot to wear my watch - such inconvenience!!! anyways, finally found the place and i even asked the guard to confirm if there was indeed a Maybank Centre in that building. friendly guard. :)

oooooo kinda scary! really don't know what to expect from my first day and the following months of my internship!! ahhhhhh a little anxious manz!! i'll just do my best! :)

now watching: 烈火雄心3

2010-09-16T12:18:00.004+08:00

just woke up not too long ago. had a bad dream, a nightmare?

as i've already mentioned, i'm really not happy with my papers and i'm very worried. i really hope that i'm just being paranoid, i really hope so.

well, i dreamt that we got back our HR papers - PCM and HRD. i passed one and failed one. one of them i got 36/50 and the other 17.5/50. for the one i failed, i tell you, i cried my eyes out. i even remember Mrs Loy asking me what happened. she also told me that she heard from the invigilator that i spent a lot of time on a single question and probably that's why i scored that badly. i was so darn upset and kept asking Mrs Loy if i had to sit for the supp paper. come to think of it, i really don't know. if your coursework has an 'A' grade but you failed main paper, will you have to sit for supp paper? hmm but anyways, i wouldn't want to know HAHA.

anyways, the dream was terrible, it's making me scared. results should be out next week. i'm really worried... i really hope everything will turn out fine..

hahahaha on a happier note, HAHAHA I DREAMT OF RON NG, 吳卓羲!!! i dont really know what we were doing in the dream but i was together with the whole cast of Rosy Business and i was partnering with him HAHAHA. after practicing don't-know-what, we were then suddenly walking to CLASS! he and i were kinda upset cuz we weren't really prepared for what we were supposed to do when we were with the Rosy Business cast. haha and cuz i was kinda upset, he came up to comfort me and held my hand to class HAHAHAHAHA omg and i was like leaning towards him HAHAHAHAHA. while all those, i 'felt' something for him hehe. omg he's darn sweet!

that aside, in my own opinion, i kinda like Ron's character in real life. not that i know him but from what i know of him. he is like those 'cool cool' kind, don't really speak much but can be super cute and sweeeet - i think i like this kind? hmm haha and while he's always so cool looking, i just love it when he smiles with his teeth!! ahhh so cute! +)

whatever lah, my parents always call him 'the angry man'! what is this! hahaha cuz the characters he act is always so impulsive and 'angry'! whatever lah haha but i quite like him leh! :D haha so it seems like whoever i like, my parents always seem to have something to criticise about! it's the same with Raymond and Linda, different taste probably! :)

wow, lotsa dream in one day. i dreamt about other things too but those 2 above were the 'highlights' haha. :)

oh ya, a few days back, we went to the food fair and John Little sale at the Singapore Expo! omg the things at the John Little sale were darn cheap and i finally got all the things that i needed/ wanted!!! i got the slippers, jacket and pumps that i wanted/ needed and even got a top that i really like loads! the prices were slashed off kinda crazily. for example, the jacket's original price was $49.90 and it sold only for $16.90!! omg haha big deal man! the next time there's a Robinsons/ John Little sale or something similar, I'LL GO! :D thanks a million 老豆媽子! :D

2010-09-14T00:01:00.009+08:00

wahhhhhhhhh i was surfing the asianfanatics forum and came across this video link:

ahhhhhhhhhh! Raymond and Linda are collaborating again!!!!!! omgggg im darn happy, my favourite couple!!!! :D

yeah yeah i've read lots of news saying they arent a real couple and arent really that close off-screen but at least they're collaborating together again!!! weeeeeee. :D they're so compatible!!

anyways, papers are finally over but im really not that optimistic about what i've done... darn it lah ks... but at the very very least, i gave it my best shot.

1 week of rest before SIP on 20 septemberrrr. i'd better make full use of my break.

i need to slim down again! darn with all those snacking and stoppage of gym-ing cuz of exams... but yeah i know, NO EXCUSE LAH RIGHT! stupid sze.

yes, no excuse... i mustn't do things that'll make me hate myself for. i mustn't do things out of impulse that i'll regret moments later. i need to slim downnn!! yes, it's there but it doesnt mean you have to eat it - my mother bought so many snacks!!! yeah yeah yeah moderation blahhhh.

yes yes yes and only then can i love myself.

yeah and of course i'll do it the healthy way.

now watching: 絕代商驕
i've watched 4 episodes and so far, okok only leh. shall see if the storyline will pick up. i'll finish it up anyway. :) Dayo Wong is forever funny haha!

2010-08-28T17:40:00.004+08:00

救命呀，我唔知道我究竟發生咗咩事。。。好似冇乜心記去做我應該做嘅事。。。考試好快就到啦，而我咁樣嘅態度令到我有啲驚。。。似明呀似明，你要記著，你千記唔可以偷懶呀你知唔知？如果你要得到好成績嘅話，你一定要振作。就而家更加嘅振作你自己，好無？加油呀似明加油，你得o架。:）

please do not derail. stay on track.
2 more chances to catch up. i simply cannot afford to slack off.
i know you can do it, sze. go sze, come on. you can do it. :)

`6 Sep '1o: SAPM
`7 Sep '10: MA1
`8 Sep '10: PCM
`9 Sep '10: HRD
`13 Sep '10: FA

2010-08-20T15:33:00.005+08:00

o岩o岩睇完咗『老婆大人 II』，好睇！

yeap, i've just finished watching 老婆大人 II, aka Just Love II. omg i think this is the first show that i felt touched. usually during the supposed "touching" parts of any drama, i totally have no feelings and my thoughts usually are, 'just watch lo'. however for this particular drama 老婆大人 II, especially in the last episode, i actually felt really sad and touched!!

nah, there werent tears or anything for me but i could feel the sadness of the characters in the drama. im impressed, this is the very first drama that i actually sensed such feelings of sadness for the characters. cheers and thumbs up to the Jessica Hsuan and Sunny Chan!!!

the last episode was really very touching, especially where Hei-Man wanted Kot Kwok Kwong to do the surgery but he didnt to, as he didnt want to forget the 2 most important people in his life - his wife Hei-Man and his son Yin-Cho. 哇，頸呀 that part, really excellent acting and it was so realistic!! when i saw Jessica and Sunny cry, omg i felt soooooo sad too!!! when they cried, it felt soooooo real - Jessica and Sunny seemed really into their characters. really touching.

PHEW and luckily it was a HAPPY ENDING!! luckily luckily! this show deserves a happy ending!! :D

`back to MA1.
`i cant afford to slack off, please.
`need and will keep the engine running.

``weeeee, C510!! finallyyyy. >.<

2010-08-13T23:02:00.005+08:00

`now watching: 老婆大人 II
`current song craze (i know im slow!!) - 3 by Britney Spears

just got back not too long ago from a family dinner - father's side = lotsa people! :D

nice to see my cousins whom i have not seen in a long while. :) we could still clique and they are still as warm and as fun as ever. +)

the gist of this post is about the very small conversation i had with my eldest cousin aka neighbour. she is the eldest cousin and im the youngest cousin (my father's side) - she's 40++ and im 19! :D haha but she's a darn nice cousin and neighbour - i'll never forget how helpful she was when our family was hit with Dengue back in 2005. :)

anyways, she mentioned that she saw me in shorts and sport shoes yesterday and asked whether i went for a jog. haha not really but rather, i was going to the gym. :) when she heard that, she asked whether i was doing it on a regular basis. yep, i've just started doing so! - cuz so fat!!.. she understood my feelings - for i had stopped running for such a long period of time - and after which, she even encouraged me to keep on going on a regular basis.

i just love it, thanks so much for the encouragement!! glad that there are people who understand how i feel and to even go one step further to encourage me to keep fit on a regular basis. :) yes i will!! :D

definitely! i'll definitely keep keeping fit as part of my regular routine from now on. it not only keeps me in shape and my confidence level about how i feel about myself but also, improves my mood! - yeah, must be the endorphins! ;)

priorities for this month of August - diet, exercise & study. :)

-process of getting back the fit me.

-process of preparing for my upcoming end-semester examinations.

yep yep, i'll know how to prioritise my priorities. :) as already mentioned, coming Sunday (phew) will be the start of my proper schedule till end-sem exams are over. better enjoy my last day of enjoyment. +)

`cuz once you start, you cant stop! +)

2010-08-11T19:18:00.005+08:00

i never really thought of it until Kenneth told me - im a very 'routine' person??! hmm is it true?!

whatever haha but this week, my schedules are kinda messed up and i dont like it one bit! cant wait till Dimanche (french word haha! :D), where from then on till end-semester exams, my days are properly lined out - unlike now, which is sooooo messy arghhh. nvm, although it's a little messy, the schedules are still in place. :) it's just that from Sunday (Dimanche! :D) onwards, it'll be more in placed. :) haha

OH YES! was out with wenqin and bak kut teh yesterday at Vivo and i saw C510!!!!! i know it's quite an old model and that it's no longer in production but there's still stock at the Sony Ericsson outlet at Vivo!!!

omg i really thought of giving up and to live with my current phone that hangs at CRITICAL moments but when i now know that there's still stock, i wanna get it! yeah, i know it's high time to change my phone but i really cant bear with my current one! wahhh but on the other hand, i think it's high time to change cuz it keeps hanging and sometimes, even hangs at moments when i NEED to use my phone (even though i hardly use it)!!

yeah cant really blame my phone though, it's more than 2 years old already. i've treated it well and it has served me well for these 2 years. maybe it's time for W910i to retire? haha and that's beside the point that i still love my W910i. :)

most of my friends know that my phone keeps hanging and what Cally told me actually struck me, 'next time when you really need to use your phone and it hangs, then you know'. wah true leh! emergency and phone hang then how??!!

i've been looking around for phones for quite sometime already and even after browsing through those soon-to-be-released models, none of them are to my liking - except for C510. yeah fussy if you call me. that's cuz for me, once i've chosen something, i'll be sticking to it all the way and so, it has to be to my liking. :)

yep yep, im a Sony Ericsson fan for handphones but nope, i am not into any smartphones cuz nothing beats using the computer.

C510!!

we'll see.

End-Semester Examinations:
6 September: Security Analysis & Portfolio Management
7 September: Managerial Accounting 1
8 September: Performance & Compensation Management
9 September: Human Resource Development
13 September: Financial Analysis

`totally broke now - even better excuse to stay home. +)

`now watching: 仁心解碼.

2010-07-31T00:51:00.002+08:00

sometimes, when it's gone, it's simply gone.
i guess we've already moved on.
memories they shall be.
thanks for the sweet and wonderful memories.
i think you'll be someone whom i'll never forget. :)

THE FITNESS EDGE:
1st month: at least 17 days per month - 4 times a week or more
subsequent months: at least 10 days per month - 3 times a week or more

putting it down in words do indeed make everything seem clearer. :D

2010-07-30T13:10:00.021+08:00

time passes by really quickly and finally, everything's done, projects and presentations - except for the upcoming end-semester examinations. blahhhh. haha but excellent, 1 month study break. i love it cuz there're lots of things to revise and study - 5 subjects. i definitely have got to make full use of the study weeks. i will. yes. of course. that's cuz i simply cant afford to slack off.

so what about the past few weeks? really really really darn stressed out and totally drained out, especially during the 5th july and 12th july week. it was terrible!! never expected that the latest time i ever went home was because of projects - i arrived home at 2.50am. amazing how fast the taxi driver drove. arrived home from TP in less than 15 minutes?! hahaha the uncle drove really darnnnnn fast! good though, cheaper and could get home faster! haha just a little scary for how fast he drove but it's cool! :D

i remember during sem 2.2, i was stressed out cuz of examinations and now, sem 3.1, i was stressed out cuz of projects. of my years in TP, this semester consisted of killer projects. it wasnt just me who felt it, it seems like everyone from either the HR or Finance elective were also facing the same issue?! dont know what happened. TP "killed" us for the killer end-sem exams last semester and now, they "killed" us for the killer projects. haha but looking on the other side, this is really a fantastic training for the real world cuz that's how it'll be. :)

oh wells, i guess we'll get back our projects next week. really dont know what to expect. hope we'll do fine... :)

oh yeah, yesterday was the 'all big presentation day' for me - presenting to the whole lecture hall!! it was our Kelly Services Career Centre (KSCC) presenation!! luckily it wasnt as bad as i'd thought. i thought i did okay cuz i didnt feel as nervous as i thought i'd be - it's just that i felt my leg trembling!! hehe luckily we were standing behind the table, so no one could notice. oh yes! if my friends didnt tell me, i didnt know that i was speaking soooooo fast!! when i was speaking, i thought i was calm but to the others, i wasnt!! heheehe they thought i was nervous and that i was rushing for time but i wasnt!!! hahaha! nah nvm it's okay, thanks for the feedback! i'll work on it the next time round! :D

YAY for the KSCC presentation yesterday, we, Group 6, was one of the 3 groups that got the prize for Best Group Presentation!!! <3

Group 6:
Presenters: Danial, Sze Min and Michelle :D
Researchers: Kenneth, Yun Hui and Yuxi <3

so i guess hard work does pay off at times. +)

weeeeee - sze's podit! i've got it!!!!! <3

& who's the genius who came up with the gym at kovan?! <3
THE FITNESS EDGE! <3
i've already gone there twice and i feel comfortable working out there. it's productive too! :D sooooo, i'll now recuperate myself from the vast amount of stress faced from the past weeks first, before joining the monthly membership on wednesday!! :D

now watching: 學警狙擊.

2010-07-11T00:17:00.002+08:00

from the reaction i get, i've been saying more than i should.

fine, shut up. yes.

im sick of it anyway.

`you wont be the end of me. im stronger than that.

2010-07-08T21:52:00.003+08:00

i really want to tell myself that i've had enough. i really dont want to go on with the life im having now.

some of you may know that im struggling with how i go about eating my meals. always worrying about the amount of calories in the food i eat. worrying about gaining weight. talking about wanting to stay healthy by exercising regularly and all.

many of you think that i hardly ever eat but y'all know nothing. really.

im really sick of being obsessed with calories, my diet and my constant talk about wanting to exercise when i dont even do so. im really sick of always going about talking about food, diet, exercise and pouring out my grievances about my binges.

y'all say that i dont eat, thinking, 'how much do i actually eat?' exaggerating my binges? well, i've had enough of all these obsessions and i've decided to confront my problems right now, right here. i really dont want to live in misery with regards to what and how i eat. it's really tiring. this has already been going on for years, about 2 years plus in fact. im really tired. i really want to lead a normal, healthy lifestyle, like how most people are.

well, so here's what i ate today. i really want to confront my problems right now and right here.

breakfast: packet milo
lunch: chicken cutlet kuay tiao
snack: chocolate milk, 3 big pocky biscuits, 3 mini packet strawberry pocky, 3 mini packet chocolate pocky
dinner: vegetable, pork rib, fish maw/ toufu/ fishball soup
snack: brownie, 8 pieces norway chocolate, 1 packet norway kit kat, 2 packet "vegetable" biscuits.

- yes, this is what i ate today, in one single day. calories definitely more than 2000??? well above the requirement for one who does not even exercise?

- yes, this is what a typical binge is like for me, though there are certain days that i can eat MORE than what i simply ate today. believe me, they were way more than this.

i really want to confront my problems and lay them all out, rather than to just keep it to myself, having everyone to think that im simply just exaggerating. i remember putting on a lot of weight late last year especially, because of my regular binge episodes, which happened every other day. sometimes even up to 3 times or more in just one week. i was really living in misery back then. i go on eating and eating and later, blaming myself like mad thereafter. after those binge episodes, i'll then promise myself that i'lll lead a healthy lifestyle, only to binge again a few days later. you can imagine how terribly miserable i was.

no, most probably y'all simply wont understand the feeling cuz you arent the one going through what im going through. you dont know what it's like. really. i dont think y'all actually really understand that feeling.

the binge episodes really make me a very miserable person. i go about blaming myself, feeling especially low after binging and feeling extremely disgusted about how i look right now. just go and look back at my track days pictures. just look at how slim my face was - and look at me now. i always feel really embarrassed when meeting up with my old classmates or trackmates for how different i look now, as compared to back then. most of the time, i'd avoid outings with my old classmates or trackmates at all cost. call this low self esteem or whatever. unless i get back the fit me, i dont think i'd ever want to meet them.

im really sick of my crazy obsession with all these. i really want to lead a normal life. i really dont want to be miserable anymore. it's really tiring. im really tired. really.

i really hope that now that i've confronted my problems, i'll eventually get over with this issue that i have with myself. i really want lead a normal life, like everyone else. i really want to...

i think you'll see me in a different light after reading this post cuz im quite sure none of you actually know the 'real' me.

please tell me that this will be the end. i really dont want to live my life like this anymore. it's not only miserable but it's really draining and tiring for me.

life is definitely worth much more than the misery im putting myself through now.

i want to be like how i used to be back then, as a fit athlete. i want to and will be. please tell me i can.

2010-07-04T18:28:00.003+08:00

it's going to be long and bumpy.

yes, a long and bumpy road.

a long and bumpy road to recovery once more.

i've finally decided anddddd

i soooo want an iTouch!!

nope, no more iPhone 4, no no.

see how fickle i can get.

iTouch 32GB!!!

how about that?

2010-06-26T23:40:00.002+08:00

schedule: walk: home - potong pasir mrt.

reflection: totally felt lazy to jog, so just walked instead.

i just realised - given that im starting to get really busy, it isnt that possible for me to come online to blog everytime i exercise. thus, i'll start monitoring them in a logbook instead. furthermore, i'll have more privacy writing whatever i feel in my logbook cuz some things simply cant be said online (like my weight??!)

just wait till i get my DREAM 46kg, then i'll announce. heh.

probably if there's anything interesting that happened or when i simply feel like it/have the time, i'll then blog about it.

getting really busy to the extent of going back to school on a Sunday.
yeap, no complains cuz at this point in time, work comes first.

`i cant go on like this.

OH YES and i cant wait for Simple Plan's new album!!! totally anticipating it!!!
-You Suck At Love sounds really great and catchy, especially the chorus!!
+i just cant wait!!

2010-06-24T18:09:00.006+08:00

now i think i know how you felt the last time - probably feeling very irritated and SIAN. i think i totally knew how you felt the last time now.

so i think this incident happened to me, probably to let me realise somethings. yeap that's cuz i somehow believe that everything happens for a reason.

yep yep and this "simple" (which isnt THAT simple) experience really did enable me to learn quite a few things and how i should go about dealing with them. thanks for the advices and listening ears y'all!! it really helped loads. :D

okay, so now, cased closed. :)

training!

schedule: 1 round around housing estate: 9.20.27 mintues, jogged back (Paya Lebar Methodist Church - Helping Hand) after a stroll to clear my mind - and nope, i didnt go to the church to clear my mind - im not a christian, nor am i a catholic. :) oh yes and i dont stay at the Helping Hand -_- i live NEAR there. :)

reflection: i was soooooooo tired (lack of sleep = 'windows shutting down' whilst at school) and when i reached home, i totally felt like sleeping. HOWEVER, i pushed myself to go for my run cuz i knew that if i hadnt, i didnt think i would ever continue again? hahaa... whatever it is but my motivation was there, it was strong enough to keep me going. really happy about that. :D

overall, the run was okay, definitely not as bad as before.

just keep going, just keep going, just keep going going going. :)

`it's high time to get focused again cuz i think i've yet to settle back in to being a "workaholic" with my school work. yep, it's now time to get focused. lotsa challenges ahead.

here we go. :)

NOW.

2010-06-21T22:08:00.007+08:00

my first training today. what i type from now counts. as for today, i've never really looked so much forward to training before.

when i woke up, i was perfectly fine but when i arrived at school and went to class, my mood simply changed. i have practically no idea what caused the change in my mood but i dont think i've had such 'mood' in school before. i just felt totally irritated. however, when the others talked to me, i didnt think i showed it but when i was sitting quietly by myself, the sense of irritation seemed settled in.

i think i know the reason? yeah but im not saying anything - it's nothing much actually - it's probably just me. im not pointing fingers at anyone at all, so no worries. :) haha and i was kinda quiet in class till Cally came haha! she totally brought up the 氣氛! before she came, we were actually kinda quiet and i think i even sensed "tension" for i-dont-know-what reason but as i've said, it probably is just me lah - something wrong with my mood today lah! okok but whatever it is, Cally's always entertaining me lah haha AND NO, CALLY, I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU HAHAHAHAHA! im totally straight lah please hahahahaha omg you see, she's always doing and saying things that totally make me laugh omg hahaha

oh yes and so, my first exercise of the day - RUNNING FOR MY BUS 80 HAHAHAHA.

okay so today in school was blah blah and when i reached home, i immediately went to 'clear my system' before swooshing outta the house for my first training! :D

schedule: 9 minutes warm-up, 15 floors up and down, 1 minute cool-down.

reflection: the 9++ minute jog was okay, except for the upslope part, whereby i was struggling a little but overall, it wasnt that bad. :)

as for the staircase run, it sure was tiring! my legs are aching man! hahaha but as i've said, the after-effect feeling's awesome. :D did a 1++ minute cool-down jog after and then did some walking before going back home. :)

as i felt kinda stressed and irritated at school today, i simply couldnt wait for training. yeap and there's no need to smoke, drink, take drugs or binge whenever one feels stressful or irritated. the best thing to ever do is to RUN and that's what i did - run - and im already feeling a whole lot better. running totally works for me. im addicted to you. :)

`OH YES and im sooooooo tempted by iphone 4! hmmmmmmmmmm. however, i still cant bear to part with my current phone of 2 years!! SONY ERICSSON LOVIES!! :D haha and yes, i only said 'tempted'. :) hmm but who knows what will happen in the future manzzz. we'll see hahahaa. even though, my phone has already been kinda "naughty" and my 2 years mobile contract is already up! :D so who knows? probably will wait for reviews?? gotta see if there'll be any mobile plans too cuz i heard and am sure iphone 4 isnt gonna be cheap! hahaha i really dont know yet!!

2010-06-20T20:44:00.004+08:00

I DID IT. I FINALLY DID IT. i finally did my first workout since i-dont-know-when.

staircase workout indeed - i almost died.

workout was a killer for me, given that i have not been working out in a long long time.

workout: 6 minutes warm up, 15 floors up and down, 4 minutes cool down.

comments: i initially wanted to warm-up 1 round around my housing estate but decided to stop just before going up the slope cuz i didnt want to push myself too hard, given that it is only my first workout in a very long time.

after my warm-up, i made my way to the other HDB block that isnt too quiet-looking. i ran up and started "dying" when i hit the 11th floor. since i totally didnt know how many floors there were, after the 11th floor, whenever i cleared one floor, i'd look up and think to myself, 'HUH??! ANOTHER FLOOR???!!' hahaha thinking back, it was really funny!

after finally reaching the top floor aka 15th floor, my legs were like jelly!!!!! hahahah i was panting like mad but now that i think about it, the feeling's GREAT. i caught my breath for a while before making all the way back down to the first floor. the first few floors down was quite a struggle as my legs were still jelly-like. halfway down and then i started to recover. did some walking to ease off the lactic acid before doing my cool-down at the park nearby.

i was quite happy that i pulled through with the cool-down and that i did push myself. after completing my workout, i felt terrible in the sense that i totally felt like puking. i felt weak. however, im definitely not deterred from pushing myself the next time. i wanna live back the old track days. :) it feels totally great to keep fit. totallyyy.

ooo so much for the workout today though, i practically ate back all that i burned, or probably ate back even more calories but heck with that and i dont care that i binged today or whatsoever. the reason being so, as im taking today as a 'trial', for me to get used to the schedule that i've planned for myself and how i should deal with my meals after my workout.

yes, today's meals after my workout was a flop - a total flop - but as i've said, today's my first serious workout in years. at least now i have a rough idea about my appetite for food after my workout. yes and i'll now know how to deal with my appetite after workouts in the future, given the trial i had today.

YEAH AND IM FEELING A WHOLE LOT BETTER AFTER THE WORKOUT.

i've gotten it through.

oh yes, given that today's only a trial, everything i did and ate today isnt counted. wait till my training officially starts before everything i type counts.

`it's working.

`im addicted to you.

2010-06-19T23:40:00.007+08:00

而家覺得好煩。。。咩都唔想知，咩都唔想去理。。。但係我知道我唔可以繼續咁。。。俾啲時間我，我知道我好快就會諗通。。。

i dont know what the heck is happening. im just dreading to do all those stuff. refusing to do them and yet, keep thinking about them. it has been eating into me for the past few days and i've yet to come to terms with my feelings on that.

i know no one can help me - i've just got to figure it out myself.

yeah i will.

soon.

`DHL. yes, DHL.

go sze, come on.

stitches were finally out yesterday. doctor says i can finally do whatever i want from now.
i need to relief the building pressure inside me. so, staircase training tmr morning?

2010-06-18T22:57:00.006+08:00

i didnt really feel much of a term break, for there are kinda lots of work to do! hmm however, at least there is still some tiny form of break for me. yeah, better than nothing. :)

oh wells, looking at my schedule, it's gonna be a reallyyyyy stressful July, with lots and lots of project submissions and presentations. August will be study week and examinations. after which, September till December will be my student internship aka SIP. wow, so looks like the rest of my 2010 will basically be that! ahhhooohhhhh, looks really kinda packed!

ahhhhh and who in the world would have expected it? definitely not me!!! omg and i was darn surprised when i received the letterrrr a few days ago manzzzz. i just went, 'OMG' and then, 'OMG OMG OMG, i cant believe it'. hahaha yep yep, this definitely gives me an even bigger driving force to work even harder and to never give up. im really very thankful for that, really really really. before, i never really even dare dream of getting it. i really never expected it. AHHHH IM DARN HAPPY! :D

all the more, i wouldnt dare to slack off. this really pushes me to work harder and all the more, to persevere and to never give up. however, whatever it is, whether i get it or not, like before, i will always give it my best shot. :)

`DHL stands for??
`DHL = Dalsey, Hillblom and Lynn
or
`DHL = Director's Honours List?

HAHAHAAHAHA I WANT THE LATTER!!

2010-06-12T00:04:00.007+08:00

頭先冇幾耐前睇完咗「click入黃金屋」，嚟緊就係「東山飄雨西關晴」！
yeah yeah yeah, i know im slow haha! havent got the time to watch all day cuz of school work, so im still quite back-dated with all the shows. hmm but after this, i think it should be "newer" shows already? :) whatever it is, as long as sooner or later i get to see the shows, im happy. :D

oh yes and in the show「click入黃金屋」aka Pages of Treasures, there is a lovely piano tune that is often played during the love triangle between Eric Suen, Shirley Yeung and Vivian Yeo. in the show, they call it the 'Love Song'.

im currently playing it as im typing this - it's really soothing and peaceful! :)

here goes:

lovely, isnt it? :)

`this saturday of mine will be project day. :)

2010-06-08T16:41:00.002+08:00

my first official formal interview with the 'real world'.

i cant say that i have done exceptionally well. as i am not as confident of the eventual outcome, im not surprised if i didnt get it eventually. i also wouldnt want to place my hopes up too high cuz i dont want myself to feel utterly disappointed at the end of the day, if i were to be rejected. i've experienced and heard of this too many times - 希望越大，失望越大。furthermore, i am not the only candidate vying for that position. whatever it is, it was definitely an excellent exposure for me. i'll definitely take back with me many learning points and one thing is that, at least i'll now have a rough idea of what kind of questions real employers out there can pose to me as an individual.

i'd probably even want to jot them down so as to be more prepared of certain questions the next time round, of which the interviewer managed to catch me off-guard at times today. the interviewer is really sharp, i do kinda admire her interviewing skills. :)

thinking back, i was not at all nervous for the interview and im really pleasantly surprised, given that im often a 'nervous-wreck' haha.
yes and remaining calm really does help a whole lot better than being jittery, which definitely will affect my performance in a negative way. i sure was glad for being able to remain totally calm and at peace haha. :)

`is it true that sometimes, you just cant hide where your heart really lies?

2010-05-23T15:28:00.005+08:00

finally managed to catch another Crusaders match yesterday.
yesterday was kinda a big match, as it was the semi-finals of the Super 14.

i was so excited to realise that the match starts at 11pm, when i switched on the television by chance at 10.50pm. what's more to an important match, i guessed that the 'top' players would play and ohh yeah, Dan Carter and Ritchie McCaw played! :D i finally understood how great a player Ritchie McCaw is when he made that amazing turnover that i was simply so amazed by!!

sighs but 2 minutes into the match and the Bulls already scored a try.

sighs sighs sighs, Crusaders eventually lost the match to Bulls 24-39, which means that they wont be making it into the finals... so sad!! im really super sadddzzzz.
i thought the Crusaders missed quite a lot of chances to score quite a few tries though. however, im sure the Crusaders sure did their best!! :) a pat on their backs for that. :D

oh yes and i loveeeee one of the tries that the Crusaders scored, it was so nicely constructed! it was the one whereby they started with a scrum, then one of the scrummers picked the ball up, passed it to the scrum-half, then he passed to the other guy and the other guy passed and then that guy ran and scored! whoohoo! haha 'that guy here and that guy there' cuz i dont know their names HAHA! i sure do think that there are quite a few 'quick feets' in Crusaders!

oh yeah and i HATE to admit it... but the Bulls' kicker's good manz.

Dan Carter missed 2 kicks previously but managed to convert the last try quite nicely! this made me think that he missed the previous 2 kicks cuz of pressure?
nah but whatever it is, still, GO DAN CARTER! <3

anyways, finally done with tutorials for the week.
so this then means that i can finally start with my revision. :D
mid-sem tests coming real soon.

31 may - Managerial Accounting 1
1 June - Human Resource
2 June - Financial Analysis
3 June - Security Analysis & Portfolio Management

`go sze, jiayouzzzzzz.

2010-05-16T13:31:00.014+08:00

these few weeks, whenever i watch the entertainment news on channel 838, during commercials, this song always plays. what caught my attention was the catchy lyrics, the HANDSOME singer and the guest appearance by Shu Qi. since the lyrics often goes, 'get down down down, oheoh, get down down down', i thought the title of the song is either 'down' or 'down down down'. i tried looking up for it a few times but kinda failed miserably.

when i was watching the entertainment news today, finally, the Music Video played again!!! i ran to grab my phone and used TrackID. yay, finally got it - 非愛不可 by 彭于晏 (Eddie Peng).

i went to YouTube to check it out and ohhh my, he had longgggg hair the last time. when i saw that video, no way would he have attracted my attention then hahaha! short hair is better lah!! he's definitely more handsome now!!

here's the video:

HANDSOME RIGHTTTTT!

at certain angles when he's in the train, he looks like DANIEL WU!

in this video, his hair not niceeeee

but still handsome right!
i think it is his mouth that resembles Daniel Wu!
i thought the pose he did at the end was pretty COOL haha!

nah, i dont support Eddie Peng or whatsoever, it's just that the Music Video simply caught my attention about him. at least i now know of another Taiwanese Singer. :)

whatever it is, i definitely still prefer DANIEL WU 100%! :D

-off to HR's Self-Reflection Journal.

2010-05-13T23:48:00.009+08:00

just shut up, okay?
so yeah, maybe sometimes, it really is better to just keep to yourself.

am i sensing something or am i over-sensitive?
it's getting kinda awkward in a negative way.
whatever it is, all i can say now is, 'i am flattered, thank you' :)

我唔想連朋友都冇得做。
Gigi Lai's character in The Gem Of Life said it.
i thought this is quite a good form of expression. :)

got to finish up HR Performance Appraisal mind-map today, before i am permitted to sleep.

`i really want to move on.

2010-05-11T21:42:00.005+08:00

long time no blog.

going out on weekends - both on Saturday and Sunday - left me really busy for the first few days of this week, for i have to catch up with my tutorials. going out on weekends have once again, proven too much for me. anyways, a great relief now, finally managed to catch up with my work.

yep yep, i definitely will have better planning the next time round. i wouldnt want that to happen again cuz all the late night sleeping has left me with DARK CIRCLES, omg. i can even see some hint of EYE BAGS. oh my oh my, no no, i never want those. ohhh yessss, i'll do my very best to make sure that i'll have adequate amount of sleep from today. :) YES.

Saturday's outing is definitely something worth blogging about.
the 4 of us - papa, mama, gorgor and i - were out the WHOLE day, TOGETHER. oh my goodness, when was it when it was only just the 4 of us together, as a family? it's definitely the first time in YEARS. first stop was for lunch at Farrer Park's Banana Leaves. the concept is kinda cool and im kinda fascinated by it. :)

after which, we were off to Changi Beach Club for MAHJONG!
can you believe it? no, i cant - we played Mahjong for 7 HOURS NON-STOP, from 3.30pm to 10.30pm! we didnt even realise that time passed by so quickly then. we seriously didnt felt it at all.

after we were done with Mahjong, we then headed off for supper. oh my supper hahaha and what we ate? CRAB. hahaha crab at like 11pm plus?! hahaha
yum yum MAN TOU!!!!! :D i simply love eating Man Tou!! :D yummilicious!

as for Sunday, it was facial at Bishan with mama.
yep, it was Mother's Day! mama's day of shopping on my account hehehe. seems like she's really happy about it. :D yay. <3

anyways, whatever it is, for the outings and all, thank you so much papa mama. :) i really appreciate your company. :)
oh ya and Saturday was also the first time i used the term, 'GORGOR' in years years years? yeah, i kinda appreciate his company too lah. :)

`really feeling a whole lot better with a free-er mind. :)

2010-04-29T21:42:00.004+08:00

past few days havent been really good...

i havent got enough sleep for the past week, i've been sleeping late and have been waking up really early cuz of school. it's only week 2 but the pace has already started to pick up.

HR project has already started since week 1.
lotsa work to do over this weekend! i've already gotten my days planned out for the coming days and with that, i feel "safer" since i already know what lies ahead.

dark circles are out, i can totally see it. i can also feel how tired my eyes are, even right now.
oops, tired eyes = dao look. i dont mean it, it's just that im tired lah.

i even broke my mirror 2 days back. i was carrying it and the hook came loose. the sound of shattered glasses was all i could hear next.
i was too tired to react and all that could come out of my mind was that 'i hadnt had a good week'.

anyways, i think i freaking ate a lot today?!
was that a freaking binge?!

i just didnt like the past week, including today.
sleep early today and gone will be the not-so-good days.
im so totally gonna sleep early today.
here comes better tomorrows.

`some things are really worth remembering, while some things simply arent.

`yes, a closure. a closure, yes. finally.

2010-04-25T01:07:00.005+08:00

for the ease of typing this post, i'll take it that today's Saturday. :)

so i've gone out for the past 2 days.
there was even a suggestion of going out tmr too but it's high time to stay home to do my work. workload is definitely increasing but im pacing myself. :)
in order to lighten my work tmr, i've already done some before relaxing right now. :)
i just love the feeling of planning my days out and being in control, carrying it out according to plan - of course not to stick to it rigidly, got to exercise flexibility too, yes. :)

`incentive works wonders. :)

i initially thought of blogging on Friday itself but kinda changed my mind upon seeing the reply that made me kinda... whatever lah.
whatever whatever whatever. met up with squid on Friday - after so many years. we didnt really know where to go, so ended up at Astons at The Cathay for early dinner. really really thanks a lot for the dinner. :) at least finally got the chance to meet up. :)

as for today, i woke up early at about 8am. the 5 of us were off to the airport for "brunch" at about 9/10 plus.
have a safe trip and take care. see ya real soooooooon papa. :)
after which, the 4 of us headed home. after mama's nap and my drama-ing, mama and i then headed to town first - cuz i really didnt feel like staying home today - before gorgor and wendy joined us later in the afternoon. we had a early dinner at Dome before catching a 6.45pm movie, Shutter Island, at Lido.

omgggggggg, wendy got into NUS!!!!!!!!!! omg omg omg, i can totally sense her happiness!!! congratulations once again! :)

regarding the movie today, there werent any action scenes or whatsoever but you've really got to pay attention to the storyline. yep, kinda a surprising turnout/twist in the story, though there were many question marks in between. haha but overall, okay lah, not bad. i liked the part when the 'twist' came in though. :)

`finally, a closure.

2010-04-20T22:10:00.003+08:00

nope, i didnt draw to school today, i've decided that such things should be left for outings and not school. :)

dressing wise, it'll depend on my mood.

case closed. :)

2010-04-19T22:15:00.004+08:00

there're lots that i wanna blog about! hmm so where should i start...?

okay so yes, today, a brand new semester - semester 3.1. i was on bus 8 today when it started to occur to me that i am going to school on the basis of a YEAR 3 STUDENT! ohh my, i cant really believe it, i am now a YEAR 3 STUDENT!! time passes by really quickly, within a blink of an eye.

i have to admit that i was and am a little jittery about starting school, given how stressed out i was in the last semester 2.2. im really mentally preparing myself for my final year. :) yep, it sure is an important year. Year 3 is also the year for me to catch up on my CGPA - my last and final year - but yep, i'll have to remember not to over-stress myself like how i did in my previous semester? yep, unnecessary stress really does me no good. one step at a time, yes. :)

OH YES! have you already read the news?! DANIEL WU IS NOW MARRIED TO HIS LONG-TIME GIRLFRIEND LISA S!!!! omg i feeeeeeeel sooooooo happy for him!!! :D such handsome guy ought to be married sooner or later!! :D all the best to the both of them!!! :D they seem compatible and sweeeeeeet together!! :D

oh yeah and i've been contemplating for quite sometime and now, i have finally bought Westlife's album Where We Are!!! yep yep, im loving the album thus far! :D i've yet to read up on the lyrics of all of their songs but so far, some of the lyrics are looking good. as mentioned before, one of them is definitely As Love Is My Witness!! :D the other that i felt was good is How To Break A Heart. :)

the lyrics reminded me of... hmm.
well, it's either true, or i have simply over-estimated my place in the heart of another - which is usually the case.
i guess i'll never really find out but sometimes, im really curious to know.

as i've mentioned in my post before, i said something like 'new style next sem?'
so yep, probably. so new sem and "new style" today - and my friends went oooooooooo.
wah their reactions kinda wanted me to dig a hole and hide.

i remember wearing a dress during CNY this year and i "earned" reactions that wanted me to dig a hole and hide too. well, i guess that these people's reactions made me realised that in the eyes of others, i really aint a lady-like person. wah please lah, im darn vain pot one leh, just that sometimes too lazy? :P dont know lah, up to y'all to judge. my conscience is clear hahahaha

i even wanted to use eyeliner to school today but on second thought, i didnt.
i thought of drawing to school tmr but im giving it a second thought now hahaha.
if y'all know me since secondary school, i've already been saying since then that i wanted to draw my eye but i guess my idea never really materialised until this year, which is like 3 or 4 years later? haha maybe last time still "young" to draw and all but now old enough already?? 19 liaozzz nehzzzz HAHAHAHA.

well, so to draw or not to draw, we'll see tmr but i feel like ehhhh. dont know! i have a very fickle mind!

so with Security Analysis & Portfolio Management (SAPM) lecture today, it means that there are already tutorials to do! hmm but nah, i wont be doing it today, i shall enjoy a tiny bit more and i'll read up and do my tutorial tmr before going to school! :) haha doing it before school cuz my school starts at 4pm tmr! nope, my school doesnt always start at 4pm on tuesdays lah! it's cuz it's only week 1 now, so the timetables arent carried out in full yet, not until week 2. :)
oh yes and no, im not doing my tutorial last minute!!! it's due next week, on monday ks!! :) i dont wanna make myself sound like a last-minute person, which i am not and do not like! :)

okay, so it's now time to enjoy my last day of holidaying!!!
巾幗梟雄!!! :D

2010-04-15T12:24:00.006+08:00

timetable's out. :)
school everyday, even for week 1 haha. :)
yep, it's high time i get adjusted to school life once again! :)
i sure am bracing myself for the new and much more challenging semester. :)

`bring it onnnnnn.

off to 宮心計!!
i'd better really enjoy moreeeeee before the new semester begins!

ciao! :)

2010-04-12T21:34:00.003+08:00

happy birthday once again, papa! :)
all of us knew about the mini surprise (me, mama, mina, gorgor) but papa didnt. though papa said he was surprised, i sure hope it was a real success. :D

anyways, in my previous post, i said that i will be going out today, so i did - to buy cake HAHAHA.
initially, planned to meet up with jiayuan to watch nationals and later, to meet up with wenqin for movie but the plan was not carried out eventually. it's because of me lah, sorryyyyyyyy hahahaha cuz i concluded that i should remain at home and enjoy my remaining holidays. :) i've got to recharge myself moreeeeee, i dont feel fully recharged yet!!!

i forsee a challenging upcoming semester.
sooooooo, recharge recharge recharge!!!!!!

`through.

darn, i think i sprained my wrist.

2010-04-11T20:55:00.009+08:00

went out for the past 2 days, not bad. :D

on friday, i went down to choa chu kang stadium to watch nationals that included hurdles finals!!

i left home at about 7.20am and arrived cck stadium at about 8.45am - so fast right!! i even wanted to leave 2 hours before, luckily i didnt do so cuz bernice and i agreed to meet at 8.50am. :)

when the hurdles races went on, i was superrrr excited lah!

hmm the SSP girl's race kinda reminded me of my race 3 years ago.

she knocked the 8th hurdle real hard and lost a little of momentum. as such, she then knocked the 9th hurdle, which caused a lost of balance and resulted in her being unable to clear the 10th and very last hurdle of the race. however, unlike her case, i fell on the last hurdle, while she pushed through the last hurdle with her hands that resulted in a disqualification.

well, a thing that im at the very least, happy about was that i completed the race. :)

well well well, as i've said, it was already 3 years ago. move on. moved on. :)

however, i will never ever forgot those wonderful memories of hurdles. here's one 4 years ago, back in 2006! :D

as what mr tay and 教练 said, '想当年'!! +)

a lovely shot taken, credits to mr tay!!! :D

i'll never forget those teachers and coaches who never gave up on me.

i'll never forget the support that i had from my parents, trackmates, classmates and friends. :)

ooo okay so yesterday, went out with cedar clique!!

there were 4 of us: jiayuan, lixue, priscilla and i!

omgggggg once again, i am so so sorry for being late!!!

as i've explained, i was watching a superrrrrr excitingggggg rugby match - Crusaders VS Waratahs. i dont think i have watched that an exciting match before!!!! ahem, okay maybe aside from the match that All Blacks lost during the last Rugby World Cup haha! whatever it is, Rugby World Cup next year, definitely hope that the All Blacks enter the finals and eventually WIN!!! :D

anyways, in yesterday's match, in my opinion, i felt that both teams' defences were strong!! looking at how the tries for each team was scored, you could see that the defences were strong and the try scored really was a 'hard worked' one. :) by the looks of the match in the first half, i thought that there was really a possibility that the Crusaders will loseeee. however, after watching the match till the end, which ended at 7.20pm, the Crusaders eventually won 20 to 13!!! omg i was darn relieved and happy!!!! :D phew. :D im sooooo proud of Crusaders!! :D hehe Dan Carter played through the whole match whooohooooo! :D

okok so i arrived at Clarke Quay mrt at 7.40pm and i was the last to arrive!!!

luckily the first person only arrived at 7.30pm. phew, so a 10 minutes wait and luckily not a 2o minutes wait cuz we initially arranged to meet at 7.20pm. :P anyways, really sorry sorry sorry!!!

haha so yeap, we ate japanese food in some mall, which i didnt really take notice of its name, oooops. after which, we walked to Clarke Quay, which was just opposite, for some dessert - cake!! :D oooo yum yum, at least something new! i chose Pistachio White Chocolate. :)

at both the japanese restaurant and the dessert outlet, we really chatted for a longgggggg time, literally catching up with each others' lives. it feels great to be updated on each of their lives and the feeling of as if we never really left each other. :D i feel really happy and fortunate for such moments. :)

oooo out again tmr. :D

my holidays are endingggggggggggg ahhhhhhhhh.

recharge, recharge moreeeee! :D

2010-04-05T20:49:00.018+08:00

Korea:
27 March 2010 - 3 April 2010

i really enjoyed this trip a lot!
our tour guide played a big role in making this trip sooooo enjoyable!!! :D

here are the highlights!! :D

Upon arrival at Incheon International Airport, Korea!!!! :D

flowers at Land of Morning Calm.

lovely sceneries at Land of Morning Calm.

the tree looks like a man bending forward!

:D

i like this pic!

this is right beside the first hotel we stayed in!

it's real snow! :D

many people skii there especially during winter, as mentioned by our tour guide.

mama.

papa.

nice!

LIGER!!!

mix of a Lion (father) and a Tiger (mother)!!!

definitely the highlight at Safari World in Everland!

vivian aka manman, my roller coaster buddy!!! :D

finally someone who dares to sit ANY roller coaster rides with me!! :D

during our journey from places to places, we passed by the World Cup Stadium!!

Persimmon Wine Tunnel!

Persimmon Wine, cheers!

where the wines are stored!

olden days toilet.

i was actually posing for this picture, in case you didnt know hahaha!

horse riding outfit!

the horsie i sat on, sooooo cute!!!!

wasted that it rained! or the horse riding would have been longerrrrrr.

a heater!!

an asset during cold times encountered!

look at how we were all crowding around it haha!

Louis Vuitton Bear, the most expensive bearrrr.

Jusangjeolli!

it's kinda scary when we look down. if we were to fall, i doubt we can survive - the waves are huge and the rocks are hard!

so cute right!!

Cherry Blossom in Korea!! :D

tour group photo!

wasted that the people on the left already changed their clothings before this picture was taken.

anyways, best tour group thus far, they are really fun people!! :D

STRAWBERRY FARM!

you should have seen how happy i was!!

i love this picture!! :D

yummy freshly picked strawberry. really sweeeeeet. :D

can you spot a pair of eyes and a nose?

ice sculpturing!

mine, papa's, mama's cup/jug!

one of the best shopping places!!!
it was this place that left me a huge impression on the Koreans.

they are veryyyyy friendly and speak veryyyyy fluent mandarin!! :D

another shopping place!
reminds me of Dotta, a game right? haha

last chance shopping at Korea!

a veryyyyyyyyyyyyyy nice place to shop too!!!

小姜, best tour guide todate!!!

rock on, 小姜! :D
he's pure Korean and speaks very fluent mandarin, definitely better than mine!

3 April 2010, bye bye Korea...

:) :) :)

this is the best holiday todate!!!

this trip really made me like Korea a lot!!!

haha but HK dramas are still my number 1 - i dont watch Korean dramas. :P

oh yeah, i really enjoyed myself on the plane too!! there're many song albums such as Westlife, Backstreet Boys, Micheal Jackson and Boys II Men!!

it was on board that i came to know of this song If I Knew Then by Backstreet Boys. it's currently my song craze!!!! i've been playing it non-stop since i came back!! :D

`life should be like a game of cards, make a mistake, shuffle the deck and start over

`it should be just like driving in your car, get lost and your navigation system gets you closer

`but there aint no handbook, you're on your own

`got no instructions, when it comes to love

`cuz when you do something, it cant be undone

`wish i could take back letting you go

`if i knew then

`what i know now

`i wouldnt have said 'i dont need you around'

`alone in this mess, silence is so loud

`so i'll treat you the best, baby if i knew then

`what i know now

the lyrics are awesome!

it's cool how it says, 'there aint no handbook, you're on your own. got no instructions, when it comes to love'. it sounds logical to me in some way or another. :)

oh yes and there are videos too! examples include Just For Laugh Gags and America's Funniest Home Videos!! :D

overall, i really enjoyed myself loadssssssssss.

definitely many wonderful memories. :)

oh yaaaa and after i came back from Korea, i have become superrrrrrr 爱美!!

with all the facial products such as BB cream, eyeliner, facial masks... oooooooooo.

within just 1 week, i've already been influenced by the people there cuz it seems to me like it's really all about 'beauty' there. :)

:) :) :)

oooo yeahhhh yep yep, back to HK dramas!!! +)

im sooooo gonna start watching 宮心計 and after that, 巾幗梟雄! :D

i've decided to watch these 2 hot dramas first! haha and after that, then i'll watch the others. :D

i'd better enjoyyyy, school's starting real soon!

gotta continue to recharge myself with HK dramas!! +)

2010-03-26T17:01:00.008+08:00

je vais à la Corée pour huit jours?

咩話，聽日？

that's fast!

好期待呀！

finally typed in 4 different languages!! :D

oh yeah, it's the first time im using Opera Browser to do a blog post!
as this desktop of mine is kinda outdated (since 2005) and does not have the up-to-date software that enables me to update my current Internet Explorer, the other way out is to change my Browser! haha and so from now onwards, for this oldie desktop of mine, i'll be using Opera Browser! wow wow, this Browser is very user friendly, has more features and seems much faster than my previous Internet Explorer Browser!! :D

the other computers are still okay and are up-to-date. thus, i'll still be keeping to Internet Explorer. i suppose i'll only change the Browser when i face with problems that i face with this computer. :)

`à bientôt!

2010-03-21T23:18:00.004+08:00

i like today. :)

the 4 of us went for brunch together at Bishan J8 - when was the last time it was just the 4 of us? one happy family. :) finally? :) i didnt sense any tension today. everything went smoothly and i love it. :)

so after brunch, we walked around J8 together before splitting up - papa & zaizai, mama and i.
father and son went for a swim together while mother and daughter went for facial together.
from what i hear, it was quality time spent between father and son. isnt that awesome? :) i feel so happy for that, really. :)

haha and it was bonding time for mother and daughter - shopping together, literally!
i chose the shops to go into and my mama followed, only to realise that she likes those styles too! she says that if i hadnt gone into those shops, she never would cuz she thought that it werent her 'type'. hehehe at least now she knows! they are cheaper too! haha and to me, definitely nicer too haha. :D
heh, told ya - my mama's darn hip. :D

after we were done with each of our activities, papa and gorgor came to fetch us at Bishan from Tampines Mall, which was where they went to after their swim.

definitely, im happy for everything that happened today. :)

yay, im darn happy for what i've gotten yesterday and today too!!
thank you papa mama so very much, especially for your time, patience and $$$ :D

`new style next sem?

ooh la la it's comingggggggg!!!
ahhhhhhhhh so excitingggggggg!!!

2010-03-20T14:37:00.004+08:00

finally! finally managed to catch the Crusaders match after missing 2 of their matches for the past 2 weeks!

Crusaders 46
Lions 19

ohhh yeahhh!!!
at some point, especially during the second half, i got sooooooo exciteddddddd, squishing the pillow, screaming (just a little) and all those kinds of things that you'd usually do when you're watching an exciting match haha. the second half was more interesting, with more line breaks than the first half.

oh yesss, at the start, i was quite disappointed cuz Daniel Carter wasnt playing but i was a little relieved to know that he was one of the substitutes, so there was a chance that he would be playing. yay, he was finally substituted in during the second half!! :D

so the player who took the number 10 jersey was Colin Slade. hmm first time i've heard of and have seen him but he's kinda cute and not bad of a player to me. :)
i cant say that i recognise all of the them cuz i've not been keeping up to-date with the current players but nahhhh, whatever it is, im still faithful to my Dan Carter and definitely, in my opinion, Dan is still cuter and a better player!! heh heh heh. :D

oh yeahhhh, i noticed that players number 12, 13 and 14 in the match today, ran really fast! they caused the Lions to have quite a lot of missed tackles heh heh. oh yeah and Ritchie McCaw! he made quite a few turnovers for the Crusaders! good player means good player, just like Dan Carter haaaaa. :D

i admit that i dont quite know all of the rules for rugby though.
sometimes, when the refree blows the whistle, i also dont know why hmmm.
nah but at least i know some of the rules and i kinda understand the game to a certain extent.

RUGBY IS REALLY SOOOO INTERSTING TO WATCH!!!!!
definitely much much much more interesting than watching soccer lah!

rugby is a hooligan game played by gentlemen.
soccer is a gentlemen game played by hooligans?
:D

the rugby players' tempers, to me, are 100% better than soccer players.
the cool thing i feel, is that rugby players can punch, push and pull one another's shirts and get away with it hahahahahha. however, after all of that is done, there are no grudges amongst them throughout the game, through my observations.
also, during the matches, i can see that they are sooooooo gentlemanly!! :)

sighs, my long-time dream CCA - Touch Rugby
but i've got to weigh my priorities at this point in time.
maybe next time, when i get into uni?
provided there is such a CCA by then and that i can get into one?
:)

2010-03-18T15:10:00.003+08:00

blogging again, wow. i doubt i'd been so frequent before?

yep, gym at Keppel today!
i've been waking up early recently, like around 5/6am plus plus and the reason = to exercise!
im so happy i finally found people whom i can exercise together with!! examples include Cedar Athletic Team/mr tay, wenqin and following my parents to Keppel to use the gym! :D

ate 2 sweet potatoes for lunch and wah, they're kinda biggggg but hmm yummy. ate strawberries after that and wahhhhh, the feeling of fullness.
i've probably taken enough carbohydrates for today already. so stop. :)

at Keppel, my papa went to the range, while i went to gym. good workout at the treadmill there! i felt great and ohhhh myyyyy, i was sweating like madddddd, drip drip drip, i dont remembering sweating sooooooo much before! haha but i really felt great about the run. :D

oh ya, i've kinda decided and i dont think i'll be changing my phone anytime soon.
C510 isnt selling anymore and i am no longer interested in Aino cuz it doesnt have a 3G camera.

while walking around Suntec just now, i finally saw how the Jalou phone looks like in real! i really never expected it to be SO small!! i love the design and the keypad!!! sighs but again, im turned away cuz like Aino, it doesnt have a 3G camera. though i admit that i hardly use Video Calling, i still prefer a phone with such a feature.

thus, to conclude: i'll be sticking to my current phone - it has all the features that i want and like! :) i just continue to hope that it behaves more. :)

off to 珠光寶氣, the story line is picking up again, hehe ciao then! :D

2010-03-17T15:20:00.005+08:00

blog blog blog... i've been blogging more often now... maybe it's because i've been going OUT more often now and and that's why i have more things to blog about? haha
ever since the trekking at MacRitchie with wenqin, i've been going out more often already. heh, that outing probably kept me up and going! the 'staying at home' barrier has been broken?

anyways, arrived TP today at about 7.45am.
there were more teachers today - mr tay, mr chan, mr goh and... hmm i dont think i know that teacher's name, though he looks really familiar. :)
that teacher looks really 'cool' hahaha.

so siti, wenqin and i warmed up at TP itself! we started off at the stadium stand, to Business School, all the way to the end of Engine School and then back to the stadium. wah, the pace was kinda fast! haha but i managed to keep up! phew. :)

after some stretching and blah blah, the teachers, X-Country runners, wenqin and i then walked to the starting point for the National Cross Country (24th of March 2010), to get ready to run/jog! mr tay, wenqin and i took the shorter route and we chatted along the way. the pace was kinda fast too and i was getting tireddddd but i still managed to keep with them! the conversation along the way also helped keep my mind off my tiredness. :)

since we took the shorter route, while waiting for the runners to come back (it's a U-turn route), we caught our breath and mr tay told wenqin and i about how we were going to be the 'rabbit'. we will have a head start of about a hundred metres or so and the runners will have to catch up with us.

when it was time, wenqin and i started - and omg, i could already feel that it was 'hard to move'! i found it tough keeping up with wenqin and i knew that she was accomodating me!! thus, i told her to go ahead first. however, she didnt and instead, did her best to motivate me!! that was really nice of her, hehe thank you!! :D

i did my best but i really "couldnt move" - my legs felt superrrr heavy. not long later, we could hear the runners catching up and i told wenqin to move ahead first, since we were the 'rabbits'. wah, wenqin the zoooomed off haha! i sure was glad so cuz i didnt want to slow her down. :)

one by one, as they over-took me, i did all i could to motivate each one of them - and i hoped my motivation helped them in some way! :)

eh, if i am not wrong, in the end, EVERYONE over-took me HAHAHA
nah, i dont really feel bad or anything since it was something like a 'fun run' for me.
i felt a strong sense of accomplishment after the run though!!!
furthermore, there was no way that i could "fight" with them cuz firstly, they are regular X-Country runners and secondly, they are in the school team! nah, i think even if they arent, i'd probably still be overtaken cuz i never really was good at long distance running, heeeee.

whatever it is, im really happy that i completed the run!! :)

after we were all done with running, siti, wenqin and i chatted for quite a bit!!
it's really great to catch up with one another's lives, especially so when siti was sharing her experiences that wenqin and i dont really go through, given that siti took the JC route. :)
it was nice chatting with her! :D see her soonzzz manzzzzz. :)

oh yes, suzie, jy and i: hopefully we can meet up soon!!!!!

`gym tmr?

2010-03-16T11:57:00.003+08:00

talking about 「珍惜眼前同埋而家所擁有的一切」
seems like i dont really 'practice what i preach'.

after my conversation with them, i realised that i am contradicting to what im saying.
well, it's better to realise now then to never will.

對唔住囉。:)

2010-03-15T18:46:00.018+08:00

arrived TP at about 7.40am - i wasnt late. :D
they were slated to start warm up at 8am haha.

mr tay asked me to run with HIM and the long distance SCHOOL TEAM, oh my haha!! y'all should know how fast they are!! i was really scared because my fitness level definitely isnt as high as before. furthermore, i had to leave at about 9am, later i run too slow and cannot come back in time manz HAHA. thus, i told mr tay that i was really 'scared' and so, i ended up running around TP stadium myself, while they ran at Bedok Reservoir.

their next training will be at TP and i'll be joining them again! this time, i will be running with them! :) it isnt that my fitness level can improve tremendously in just 2 days but it's just that i wont be having anything on after training on wednesday. hence, i can "take my time" to run, with no pressure. jiayuan cant make it but wenqin can!! phew, i have someone to accompany me!! at least i wont feel so scared and lost, given that i dont know most of the current trackers. :)

siti was at TP today too but she didnt run, so i ended up running around the stadium myself! i was kinda self-conscious cuz there were quite a lot of people on the stadium stand, while i was practically almost the only one running around the track at times oooo.

i ran 6 rounds! ehhhhh, my timing says that for a 19 year old, i will get a D grade for my NAPFA 2.4km. if NAPFA for me next year is after january, then for a 20 year old, i will get a C grade for the 2.4km timing i did today. heh heh, no bad leh, i can pass! haha i have not been training since like i-dont-know-when and for today, im happy that i, at the very least, passed!! :) however, given that im kinda competitive, of course i aim for an A grade and definitely, it doesnt come easy - i've got to train hard and i will! :)

keeping fit really makes me a happier person! probably it has got to do with the endorphins that are released when we exercise? haha :)

next training on wednesday!! :D

人係會經過失去先至會識得點去珍惜。
i agree to this sentence.
before, i never really treasured those training moments.
it is when those moments have already become a thing of the past that i realised how much i actually missed them - so much.
it made me realise to 珍惜眼前同埋而家所擁有的一切。
to never take things for granted. :)

oh my i feel so greedy these days, dont know whether it's because i've started exercising and so, i gave myself the excuse that i can eat more?! what stupid excuse. no such excuse. i should be maintaining my portion size as per normal. my portion size should not be increasing.
okay yep, got it. :)

oh yes and i have not binged in about half a month!! yep yep, i think im already safe to say that i've finally gotten over my eating disorder - Binge Eating Disorder. :) - self-diagnosed. haha :)

oh yes, during BIG today, we suddenly started talking about results and our CGPA. it was then that i realised a lot of people didnt do too well too, especially for the finance subjects. so it seems like the paper was really tough - i cant remember how the paper was, except remembering that MCQ was tough. it was also then that i realised that a few of them had their CGPA affected for this semester as well. seems like this semester was really a "killer" for everyone?

oh yeah, was talking to darren, he asked me about my Os results and all. i was then reminded that in order to enter into a local university, they will take into consideration of our Os results too, ohhhhh my. oh wells, no point thinking about it now, just got to do my job of improving my CGPA for the coming remaining 2 semesters first. :)

a rest at home tmr! :)

2010-03-14T13:58:00.008+08:00

moved on.
i feel free, relieved and happier. :)

oh la la! cedar training at TP tomorrow at 7.30am!
i'll be joining them, weeeeeee! hopefully i can make it there in time cuz in order to arrive TP at 7.30am, i think i'll have to leave home at about 6.30am? nvm, i'll be going to RUN, so i doubt anything will be able to stop me hehehe. :D

anyways, cedar training will end at about 10am, while the BIG recruitment interview will start at about 9.30am. heh heh, they're training at TP stadium and BIG recruitment is in TP Business School itself - SO CONVENIENT! :D i'll probably leave at around 9am, since i've got wash up before the recruitment interview - i dont wanna stink! furthermore, Business School is the nearest to TP stadium HAHAHA.

oh yes, my phone is getting very naughty these days, it keeps hanging/restarting more often than usual. i thought of changing my phone but i really 唔捨得！im happy with my current Sony Ericsson phone, just that whenever it hangs/restarts, it really irks me. i heard it's got to do with the phone model itself and not the brand - i really do love the SONY ERICSSON brand okay! i was thinking of C510 or Aino but... nah, i doubt i'll be changing my phone anytime soon? i just hope that my phone behaves cuz i've been treating my phone so well!

okay then, off to 珠光寶氣!!
wah, to watch this drama, i need to use my brain manz - need to analyse and think! at some point, it can get kinda confusing. all the business politics and all can get me confused at times! however, i do learn quite a lot from watching too, definitely! :D

2010-03-12T22:25:00.003+08:00

sms for sem 2.2 results came at about 11am: shit.
opened TP account at about 2pm and saw my CGPA: SHIT.

probably the loudest SHIT that came out of my mouth so naturally, upon seeing my CGPA.

those were my immediate responeses.

the subject i was most disappointed in was Fundamentals of Investment. to be honest, im really very disappointed.

as for the rest, the grades indicated that i managed to better or maintain my scores during the main examination papers, which made me a tiny bit happier. :)

although i was disappointed for FOI, at least i had a very pleasant surprise for Communication Skills 2! it definitely made up for my Communication Skills 1 that i took in Year 1, whereby my grade was kinda miserable... well, at least i did make it up for it in Year 2. :) im really very surprised and happy for my CS2 grade. :)

however, overall, i still am disappointed.
yes, although i am relatively satisfied with my individual grades for each of the subjects, the deciding factor for my overall level of satisfaction was my CGPA.
well, what else can i do cuz the results are already out and final.
so after using today to think it through, i kinda 諗通咗. knowing that i only have 2 semesters left to better my current CGPA, my driving force now is definitely higher than before. the drive of my life. oh yes. :) no point dwelling on my current situation, instead i should think of ways to BETTER my current situation - and i will. :)

`-0.07
that IS a lot and i am not happy.

so our plan did carry out and i met wenqin at Bishan Stadium in the afternoon today!
we relived the track days - 1o minutes warm up, drills, striding and schedule.

at the beginning, when we were still full of energy, we were kinda ambitious with our schedule - 100m x 10 HAHA.
however, reality struck regarding our fitness level, when we realised how tired we were in the mist of doing our 7 types of drills + sprint off, with 3 sets each. i never really realised that drills could be tiring too! so this shows how fit we were BACK THEN hahaha

obviously, we didnt carry out our ambitious schedule but rather, went according to what we felt like doing. we did mainly exercises and wenqin was nice enough to test me my sit-ups! haha that's cuz ohh my, my NAPFA test is NEXT YEAR ohhh my! i've really gotta up my fitness level. yep yep, one step at a time, there's no need to rush. :) well, hopefully i'll be able to maintain at least 1 exercise day per week for now.

overall, i felt kinda great doing all those things in the stadium! it brings back lots of track memories - i really miss them so much. :)

since wenqin was the first person i talked to since results were released, naturally, she was the first to know.
anyways, thank you so much wenqin, for comforting me and trying to make me feel better! :)
given my grades for this sem, of course i cant beat you to your current results lah!
ahem, Z Z Z Z Z A. WOW WOW WOW. congratulations manzzzzz!!! i really feel very happy for you!! :D you'd better make sure you keep it up eh! :D

oh yep, my parents have already learnt of my results too.
i told them i was really disappointed and how i felt and all.
yep, they didnt give me any pressure at all. instead, they comforted me.
it helped and i really appreciate so much for them to not give me any pressure.
i want to enjoy the process of eventually achieving my Diploma. i dont want the unnecessary pressure to make me hate all these cuz i really dont. :)
i really love what im currently studying and doing - and that's important to me. :)

thank you so much y'all. :)

well, so now, i'll enjoy my break, recharge myself and get ready to chargeeeeeeeeeee forward when school reopens! :D yep, i'll make sure i wont crash. :)

`the drive of life. :)

2010-03-10T20:21:00.005+08:00

`i found the letter you wrote me,
`it still smells just like you.
`damn, those sweet memories. :)
- How Do You Sleep? by Jesse Mccartney.

yay, im meeting wenqin this friday again but this time, it is to RUN!! :D reliving the track days eh? haha we'll be going to Bishan Stadium!! it sounds really exciting, i just cant wait!!
oooo spikes spikes spikes? :D im so looking forward to this exercise meet up!! :D

oh yes, results out on friday too... :)

well, before friday comes, it'll be thursday first - which is tomorrow - i'll be going to help out at Rosyth again! :) unlike monday which was Modified Games for the primary 5 students, tomorrow will be for the primary 6 students. :)

oh yes, went back to TP yesterday for the first round of BIG Recruitment Interview. our job was to interview year 1 going-on-year 2 students who have signed up for the BIG main committee.
this is so cool - the first time for me as part of the interviewer panel! :D
got the chance to be an interviewer, asking the interviewees questions and observing their behaviours and all. this is really an excellent experience, having the chance to learn from the rest of my fellow main committee members and our BIG advisors! putting our HR skills into practice? haha!
yep, so the next round will be this coming monday, for the shortlisted ones and those who couldnt make it for the earlier round of interview. another valuable experience coming up again! :)

hmm, so it looks like my holidays are filled up for quite a bit for this week and a little of next week. cool. :)

current mini song craze:
Bad Boys by Alexandra Burke Feat. Flo Rida
Heaven Can Wait by We The Kings

`so full of shit.

2010-03-07T14:09:00.013+08:00

「如果你唔想人聽到嘅哇，不妨細聲少少。
如果真係想人聽到嘅，不妨大聲少少囉！」
Ada Choi said that in one of the episodes of 朱光寶氣。
頸呀我覺得, sense the scarsm in what she said?

whatever, i shall still live by this 「傷心就會傷身」

dont know what's the problem there - either with you or with me.
yeah yeah yeah.

都講咗囉，邊有心情嗟？

whatever lah okay,
so yesterday, met up with wenqin for trekking at macritchie!!! :D
we spent about 3 hours trekking, taking the trail into the "woods", whereby we also started to reminisce our track days too - cross country days!

at certain points of the trails, we went like, 'eh, didnt we run here before? eh, isnt this the 5km route? eh, isnt this the 8km route we used to run? eh, this bridge so familiar!!' hahaha! it really brings back lots of track memories. while trekking, we also talked about lots and lots of things, practically about anything under the sun! we talked about school, track days and even shared with each other our AMAZING imaginations HAHA.

it never really occured to me that there would be so many people trekking too! some were with their cameras, some with their peers, some trekking or running alone and while some, were together as a family. hmm, when was the last time i ever trekked?! haha that was way before secondary school days!

pictures of our non-stop trekking that lasted from about 2.50pm-5.50pm.

baby monkey from the first few moments of our trekking.

adult monkey seen soon after.
luckily they weren't aggressive!

oh my goodness, this is the STEEPEST slope i think i've ever climbed in singapore todate.
you cant really see it from this picture but the slope was REALLY steep!
this is just one of those steep moments. in the macritchie trail itself, there were many many more steep slopes!! i couldnt believe that we actually RAN up and down some of those slopes before during cedar days!
anyways, i really love trekking up and down those slopes - really a good workout!! :D

on our way to the HSBC tree top!!
this is the second trip for wenqin but the first one for me!!

hahahaha, it's a one-way traffic!
NO WAY OUT hmmmm.

i was kinda scared actually - look at my hand HAHA - we were kinda high up and i was really scared that i'd drop my phone!! hmm cuz if one were to drop it, i didnt think there would be any possibility that one will ever get it back. +)
furthermore, the bridge kept swaying at times and it was kinda scary!

cooooooool?
the bridge is really narrow!

scenary from the tree top!

somemore scenaries.

somemore somemore scenaries. +)

what goes up must come down - okay, maybe except for one's age - but after climbing UP the steep slope to the tree top, now it's our way DOWN. hahaha so many steps!!

i thought this picture's really cool. :D

after tree top, next is the tower!

i kinda forgot the name of this tower oooo.

we climbed up!!! :D

picture taken from the tower!

i like how that one tree is sticking out from the rest, so cute haha!

the beautiful trees that wenqin said were

but it isnt clear from this picture cuz i zoomed in with my 2 mega pixel camera phone! :)

at some point, the 'way out' signboard to Venus Road wasnt that clear and sometimes, we thought we were lost! luckily wenqin is really calm and her sense of direction is really good hehehe.

from macritchie trail, we ended up coming out at some house area HAHAHAHA

wenqin said this house is cute!!

yeah, we dont really see it often - rounded edges!!

wahhhhhhhh, this house is really really nice!!!!!!!

bungalow somemore eh!!!

i really love the design of this house!!!!

one of those dream houses for me!! +)

our trekking started out at macritchie, before ending at somewhere in upper thompson road - venus road. we didnt really know where we were actually, so we just walked and walked and walked and ended up at a bus stop which had a bus 410 and 52, which would then bring us back to bishan bus interchange hahahaha.

i suggested subway - BREAD - and yep, so there was our dinner!
there, we catched up with one another's lives and simply chatted and chatted and chatted!
at some point, i think we got so excited that we talked kinda loudly heh but nah, no one actually really bothered cuz it wasnt that quiet afterall haha.

omg, i couldnt believe that i actually told wenqin my "little secret" that i didnt think i've told anyone before!!! haha maybe i shared with her because she did share quite a bit of hers too and i would also believe that she isnt one who would spread people's secret around. :)

wah anyways, wenqin, you are the first to know the people involved eh! hmm cuz those who knew, only knew the story but not the people involved. you are the first lehhhh so shhhhhhhhhh. anyways, i think i wouldnt think too much about it lo. maybe now, like no more already hahahaha :) am i ever so undecisive or what? i really dont know too but probably no more, kinda thought it through. :) unlesssss... nah, i wouldnt think that would happen for me lah. :)

nvm wenqin, whatever it is, im sure we'll find what's ours.
what's meant to be, is meant to be and what isnt, really isnt.

可能仲未遇到嗟。:D

we're just refering to 'the ones in our minds', respectively. :)

`pouring hot and cold.

2010-03-04T13:23:00.006+08:00

hmm i was reading up on Binge Eating Disorder and i thought i'd like to share some of the symptoms, which i thought WAS relevant. yes, 'was' - it's a thing of a past now. :)

Binge Eating Disorder:

Consuming huge amounts of food while feeling out of control and powerless to stop.
Binge eaters often eat even when they’re not hungry and continue eating long after they’re full.
They may also gorge themselves as fast as they can while barely registering what they’re eating or tasting.
Eat an extremely large amount of food within a 2-hour period (a binge) at least 2 times a week on average for at least 6 months.
Feel unable to control how much you eat during a binge.
Feel very unhappy about binging.
You eat more quickly than normal during a binge.
You eat until you are painfully full.
You feel upset, guilty, or depressed after a binge.
People with binge eating disorder often try to follow strict diets. But dieting does not stop the binging for the long term and might actually make the problem worse.
You might feel so discouraged at times that you stop trying to control your eating disorder altogether. One binge might merge into the next, with no period of normal eating in between.
NO regular attempts to “make up” for the binges through vomiting, fasting, or over-exercising
People with binge eating disorder struggle with feelings of guilt, disgust, and depression.
They worry about what the compulsive eating will do to their bodies and beat themselves up for their lack of self-control.
They desperately want to stop binge eating, but they feel like they can’t.
Many binge eaters are overweight or obese, but some are of normal weight.

bibliography:
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/binge-eating-disorder/tc/binge-eating-disorder-symptoms
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/binge_eating_disorder.htm

it kinda shocked me after i had read up more about Binge Eating Disorder. oh yes and i also found out that neither Anorexia Nervosa nor Bulimia Nervosa is the most common form of Eating Disorder - Binge Eating Disorder is actually the most common.

anyway, i sure am glad i came to know of such a disorder now, before it became really too late.
it is through understanding and realisation that can i only fight it, overcome it and recover. :)

okay, such things aside and away, no more. :)

heh heh, im definitely enjoying my break thus far. >.<
yay, off to continue my 珠光寶氣! :D

oh yes, all the very best to those who are getting back their As results tomorrow!! :)

oh and this reminds me, our end-sem results will be out on 12th march!
i really hope everything will turn out fine too... :)

ciao!

2010-03-01T23:14:00.002+08:00

i was talking to my parents just now and 不知不覺, it had been 2 years... it had been 2 years that i faced with eating disorder. some people i know of may have realised it but i've never acknowledged that to anyone before, until today. i've finally acknowledged it to my parents, just a few moments ago. 2 years isnt a short period of time and fighting it hasnt been easy, i can say.

well, it took me 2 years to finally think it through and to finally come to terms with my problem. what everyone had been saying, whether nutritionists, dieticans, fitness trainers or information from the internet, it is true that there isnt any 'big secret' to a healthy lifestyle. all along, it had just been a simple rule of thumb - proper meals. skipping meals here and there doesnt really help and it is having proper meals that really is the 'big secret' afterall.

after going through the motion of "adjusting" to eating proper meals again for the past few weeks, i am confident to say that i am prepared and ready to lead a new and definitely better-than-before lifestyle. the 'eating disorder' that i had gone through for the past 2 years will now be a thing of the past - i will never want to look back again. :)

`Binge Eating Disorder.

2010-03-01T21:14:00.002+08:00

the law of diminishing marginal utility!!!!!
yay, it's finally kicking in!
i ate biscuits today and i realised that the satisfaction i derived from eating it was no longer as high as before!! :D - that's good news!
soon, it'll be just like how i dont fancy eating sweets and drinking fizzy drinks anymore, right right right? right. :D

2010-03-01T01:31:00.009+08:00

so come on and fly with me as we make our great escape
so baby dont worry
you are my only
you wont be lonely
even if the sky is falling down
you'll be my only
no need to worry
...down down down down down...
-jay sean feat. lil wayne's song 'down' is my current song craze!!!

i cant sleep and so here i am...
oh yes, a few weeks back, i mentioned that i went to the UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE preview rightttt. haha so here are some pictures of what we ATE haha!

the pictures of the theme park itself arent with me - i didnt bring my camera on that day, i totally didnt think of it!!! haha but wendy brought her camera though! hmmmm but i dont know how to get the pictures from her... haha nah, whatever excuse i may have hahaha oooooooo.

anyways, so this is all i got using my phone! :D

nice design!! :D

it's ice lemon tea!

i couldnt finish the drink...

i feel soooo happy to see the word, 'SINGAPORE'!! :D

i couldnt finish the meal!

the servings were really big and after the burger, i was fullllll.

sure glad i managed to stop myself from finishing up the fries cuz if i hadnt stop short of doing so, i definitely would have over-eaten.

ahhh but i still feel bad for not finishing, it's food wastage... im so sorry... :)

the yummy cookies that came along with each meal!

ate it only the following day.

hehe yummy, i love cookies! :D

i like unhealthy stuff:

cookies, cheesecakes, muffins ooooooo!

hmm but yeah, UNHEALTHY right.

so once in a blue moonnnnnnnnnn but still, it was yummmm. :D

time to sleeeeeeeep,

bonne nuit! :D

2010-02-26T20:27:00.008+08:00

FINALLY!!!! FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY!
yay, work for semester 2.2 is over!!!!!! >.<
last paper ended today at 4.30pm!!!
no more projects and examinations for sem 2.2!! :D
hmm however, i will really miss my classmates - we have gotten close to one another!!!

joshua is darn bad, he "cursed" me!! arghhh and now, this reminds me of ebenzber who also "cursed" me before!! hahaha but i suppose they're just joking and playing with me haha.
joshua: eh you later collect question paper from me.
me: huh? what question paper?
joshua: question paper, question paper for supp paper.
me: wah you darn evil leh!
joshua: you want or not? i got a lot of notes.
-_-
WAH CHOY CHOY CHOY LAH YOU! i dont think i will score THAT badly right? omg, now im getting scared! arghhhhh
ANYWAY, you shouldnt be teasing and talking to me like that! you're playing with the wrong person! NVM, i know your "secret" HEH HEH.

after our papers were collected, while we were still in our seats, kenneth another joker!
yuxi: no more paper but when i go home, will still feel as if there're things to study (she said in mandarin)
me: hahaha (nodding my head)
kenneth: (turned around and talked to me) eh later go airport study.
me: -_-

another one, cally! hahaha her comments and expressions are darn funny! before the paper started, joshua was teasing her regarding her ez-link card photo or something. i then turned to look at her, smiling and laughing, only to be returned with a laugh and comment, 'eh you dont anyhow ah' HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

okok maybe there're kinda lots of inside jokes here so maybe some of y'all wont really understand. hahaha omg but im laughing to myself now hahahahaha

anyway, a big load off my shoulder!!! when i reached home and switched on the television, first reward - a rugby match, Crusaders VS Sharks. HAHA YAY!! when was the last time i watched a rugby match, with Daniel Carter playing?!! it was super long ago and i sure was glad i managed to watch the full match! oh yeah manz, Crusaders won, whoooooo! :D Crusaders 35 Sharks 6 :D

another big reward coming, I CAN FINALLY START WATCHING HK TVB DRAMAS AGAIN!!!! the last time i watched was back in january, january the 10th - i still remember the date! 1 and a half months of not watching dramas, so y'all can imagine how busy it was at at school. i dont remember stopping for so long and i dont think it has ever happened since i started watching since 2005/2006? wow it's mind-blowing! well, at least for me haha!

today's the last paper for sem 2.2 and will also coincide with the last day of my out-of-proportion eating!! totally over-ate, blew my calorie requirement, total amount of fat intake today - especially trans fats - literally and totally hit the roof, darn but whatever, today's the last day. i promise myself and i'll never look back again. i need to stay healthy and lose weight, seriously!!!! i wont just be 'stating' my goals now, i will be 'working' towards them and will eventually be 'achieving' them. oh yes i will and as long as i stay focused and determined. let's see how much weight i can keep losing this holiday and beyond and then maintain at it! :)

so so so, i've already gotten my days planned ahead!! yeah, i just cant wait!!
im so gonna start watching 珠光寶氣 and my regular regime!!! :D

`results out on...? i just realised i cant go onto the vbus website to check and thus, im currently unsure when results will be released... :)

2010-02-20T19:53:00.010+08:00

yesterday was simply a fantastic day, i just have to blog about it. :D
apart from chinese new year outings, yesterday was the only outing for me throughout the study week, and it shall stay this way till end-sem exams are over after 26 feb.

OMG, I CANNOT WAIT TILL UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE OPENS FULL SCALE!!!!
you should have seen how excited i was yesterday!! >.<
thank you so much papa mama and especially papa, for queuing up!!! LOVIES! :D
so the 5 of us went for the preview and it was really fun!!! well, at least for me hahaha!

walked here and there and saw my friend! said hi to him and he said hi to my mama and papa and later, hi to my gorgor too! wah, my brother really knows a lot of people! after he talked to my brother and brief introductions to wendy and all, we then said byeee blah blah blah. after the whole thing, i then realised that i have no idea what his name is HAHAHA. SAME CLASS BEFORE SOMEMORE EH. luckily none of them asked me hehehe ooops hahahaha :P

one more thing yesterday,
if i am not wrong, this is the first time a guy confessed to me...
THAT HE HAS A CRUSH ON MY FRIEND!!!

as i was in a girls school in secondary school, i didnt really get to experience such a thing before!! omg this is so coooool! NO WONDER HE SUDDENLY SMS-ed ME! hehehe and he did so cuz im kinda close to that girl hehehehe. omggg so cooooool! STORIES SOON GIRL! :P

heh heh then all those girls who are close to me will now start to wonder if they are the one? HAHAHAHA

however, this "gossip" can never beat how excited i was during the outing yesterday!!!
those who dare to sit any kind of rollar coasters, count me in when you are going to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS SINGAPORE!!! im super on about that!!! if you ask me to go, it will be definitely be close to a 100% yesssss!!!! :D OH MY SO EXCITING! :D

current song craze: check on it - beyonce.

okok, back to work.
pay now, play later.

`stay on track.

ciaooo. :)

2010-02-12T19:59:00.011+08:00

today's the last day of school for sem 2.2...
NEXT SEM IN APRIL = YEAR 3, omg time flies!!!
im kinda sad actually cuz i really kinda felt the bond with this class, with everyone being so close and candid with one another and all. ohh wells, so i guess friends do come and go. :)

so well... coursework grades are out for FOI, PFP, RHRA and MER...
if i tell you that i am not worried, i will be lying for sure. i am really very worried for this semester especially... worrying about the final grades and how my CGPA will turn out to be... no matter what, i've got to work very hard for my end-semester papers, which of course, whether or not i did well for my coursework, i will definitely still work very hard for my end-sem papers.

on a happier note, the projects turned out to be much better than i thought!!! especially for FOI and PFP!! :D

i remember being totally stressed out for PFP project. i really never expected that grade!! :D i also remember us freaking out 3 days before the submission when our tutor was shocked by our different approach to the project. heh heh so i guess our 'different approach' eventually worked out well! :D

yep yep and FOI too!!! HAHAHA i still remember the time we got back our FOI project!! ALL 5 OF US ARE DARN BLURR!!! i wont forget the scream all 5 of us let out after our tutor told us that the report we had been looking at wasnt our report HAHA. 5 pairs of eyes and none of us realised that the report we got back wasnt ours hahaha! really a very very big surprise when we got back OUR report and we sure are all very happy with the grade we got!!! :D

whatever it is, CHEERSIEEEEEE TO MY FOI AND PFP GROUP, which consists of the same people haha! this group consists of people with really very different personalities and i like how we complement one another's strengths and weaknesses. same class next sem pleaseeeeeeeee

on a slightly 'sadder' note for RHRA and MER though... the project outcome was okay i guess... but i really cannot afford to mess up my final papers...

well, not only RHRA and MER, i cant afford to mess up my FOI and PFP final papers as well...
nah, not only these, for any paper that i take, i cannot afford to mess any one of them up.
yep yep, no unnecessary pressure, i'll do my very best, as i always will. YEAP. :)

studying will commence today - FINALLY!!!!!!

23 feb - Personal Financial Planning
24 feb - Fundamentals of Investment
25 feb - Recruitment & Human Resource Administration
26 feb - Managing Employee Relations

`fearing the unknown.

2010-01-31T17:24:00.011+08:00

many a time, whenever i read the entertainment news, HK stars were often asked about what they were going to do on their birthdays. very often, the replies were, 'i have to work on my birthday'.
sometimes, i do wonder what it is like to work on one's birthday. nah, i need not wonder no more. working is exactly what i will be doing on my day! right after this, i've got to start workkk. :)

anyways, yay, im really happy! my birthday celebration started from as early as 29 jan 10! +)
so let the pictures do the talking here then! :D

29 jan 10 - friday @ TP from shihui, wenqin & eben:

my first 19th birthday prezzie!!!! +)

the creator of one of the most thoughtful card ever:
shihui!!!

yep yep, including the picture from the previous post! :)
thanks a million, shihui, wenqin and ebenzer! :D

30 jan 10 - saturday @ Giraffe with Cedarians:

my favourite:
BLUEBERY CHEESECAKE!!!!!
my mini dream of wanting to eat a cheesecake for my birthday came true!! :D

Happy 19th Birthday! :)
thank you soooooooo much for making me look so niceee in this picture,
ALL 6 OF YOU! :)

wish wish wish. :)
almost everyone is asking me to get a boyfriend!

haha hmmmm why ah? it's really like almost all my friends eh!
haha yeah, really, why ah? im really curious as to why!

anyways, am i really THAT bad?! HAHA

i like how this picture was captured!
thanks so much jy!!! :D

the double scoop chocolate ice-cream ON THE HOUSE from Giraffe!!!

thank you so much Giraffe!! :D

ohhhh yeah, the blueberry cheesecake!! :D

jy, the photographer!
hehehe thanks for making me look really nice!!! :D

Dance Dance Revolution @ the arcade near Douby Ghaut mrt!

the first time i ever played AND

I FEEL SO STIFF!!!

wenqin, wanling, jiayuan, priscilla, lixue, iris

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! :D

31 jan 10 - sunday @ home with papa mama:

the 'hamburger' cake that i requested for for my birthday from my parents!! +)

thank you so much papa mama, LOVIES!!! :D

not that innocent looking eh?

hehehe

Happy 19th Birthday!! :)

credits to papa for the photo :D

yep yep, so i spent the whole of my 19th birthday at home! :)

when people heard that, i didnt expect them to be shocked haha!

hearing that i had no date, my super nice cousin, jiang, offered to treat me to a birthday dinner tonight! aww, it's very nice of him to offer but not today, i've got work to do! next time maybe! thank you so much cuzzie jiang!!

haha but whatever it is, the past few days, including today, have been excellent ones thus far and i sure do hope that it will continue to be excellent and fantastic ones ahead of me. :)

ahhhhhh, i cant stop worrying about school work! okok so i'd better get started real soon, or i wont be able to enjoy the remaining hours of my birthday! :)

one last thing,

to each and everyone of you who has celebrated with me, messaged me, wall-ed me, msn-ed me, got me prezzies, got me a cake, accompanied me, supported me, or even the smallest thing that you ever did for me, whether it is to even have a split second thought of me or what-so-ever, THANK YOU SO MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

LOVIES,

Sze Min +)

2010-01-30T23:43:00.007+08:00

what a fun-filled day today!!!

i woke up at 8.50am and we left home at about 10am.

firstly, i accompanied my parents to buy their stuff at Paragon. it took quite sometime and i went 'boringgggg' to my mother. she replied by saying, 'later your turn, still say boring' hahahha ooooops. >.<

yep yep since they finished kinda late, i quickly sms-ed jy to ask if we could push back our meeting to 2pm, instead of 1.30pm. she said okay. hehe phew.

so after my parents were done, we walked to 313 and shopped! hmm but before that was a very quick bite, aka finger food, from Spinelli! :D yumm.

lalala so first stop was 'Forever 21'. scanned through the first 3 levels before "settling down" at level 4, where my type of clothes are. my papa was very patient in waiting for me, while my mama was very helpful in holding and providing me with her opinions. hahaha she kept telling to me choose brighter clothes! hahah yeah man! hmm but it has to also be nice mah! :P haha cuz our taste is a little different. >.< anyways, i eventually got a dress – and BOTH my mama and i agreed that it was niceeeeee! :D

yay after that, walk-walked again before we "settling in" at Mango hahahhaa wah, we took quite sometime there manz! there were really good deals, with clothes at only $9! buy ahhhhh! hahah but of course i have to like it first - and i do!! >.< at Mango, my mama took longer than me lor! haha we both ended up getting somethings each. :D

ohhh yeah scanned through esprit but nothing really caught my attention. this season's clothes at esprit isnt really my type. cant wait for spring and summer season clothings!! :D

so before leaving 313, we got another quick bite! yay simply love finger food. :D the 3 of us shared them as we then proceeded to Ion to see the dress that i've spotted while i was there last week! i then felt a sense of urgency cuz i was going to meet cedar clique at 2pm and it was already about 1.30pm!!

we 'chiong-ed' there and zoomed to Fox. wah, so many niceeeeeee clothes!!! found and tried the dress i eyed on and awwww, luckily i looked kinda good in it! :D tried another top after that but due to time constraint and with a split second decision, it eventually was a 'no' to that top. in the end, i chose that dress and now, i finally got it!!! omggggggg im so happyyyyy. >.<

since i was already late, while my parents were making the payment, i 'chiong-ed' off! i felt kinda bad for doing that but whatever it is, omgggg i was simply so touched by my parents!!!! thank you so so so so so so much papa mama! words cant really express how touched i really was!!!!! <3

oh my, i still have so many more things to blog about! this will be a super long post i guess! +)

hehehe i then arrived at douby ghaut mrt station at 2.15pm. oh my goodness, i am so so sorry for being so late!!!! prissss said she waited for half a hour. ahhhh so sorry! hehe since it's the first time that i am ever late, forgiveness please haha!

jy, lingling and pris were there. they told me lixue and iris went to buy mattress. HMM INTERESTING. i felt a little suspicious but it ended up being true! haha, walk walk walk and ended up at Giraffe! pris' "excuse" of going choosing to eat at Giraffe was really cute and funny hahahaa! part of me guessed iris and lixue were already there, while part of me guessed otherwise.

anyways, we then proceeded upstairs of the restaurant and i went, 'EHHH!' hahaha i didnt expect to see wenqin there! what a pleasant surprise!!! hehehe iris and lixue were there too!! >.<

after ordering and all, they're all so "evil" - made me open the prezzies immediately!! i wanted to do so only at home but they gave me so much pressure :( HAHA! omggggg really really really, thank y'all SO SO SO much for the prezzies!!! i really love them loads!!! >.< OMG AND I REALLY LIKE THE BALLOON!!!!

after we were all done eating, iris went "missing" but it didnt occur to me that she went to fetch to the cake!

hahha there came the cake and
OMG, IT IS MY EVER-SO FAVOURITE:
BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

i told myself that on my birthday itself, i was so gonna go mcdonalds to buy a cheesecake for myself but now, i dont see the need anymore!!!! my mini wish of a cheesecake for my birthday REALLY came true!!!!! THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH pris, lixue, iris, jy, lingling and wenqin!!!!!! yummy yum yum. >.<

WHAT MORE TO ADD: Giraffe gave me a TWO SCOOP CHOCOLATE ICE-CREAM ON THE HOUSE in celebration of my birthday OMGGGGGGGG. this is the first time ever!!!! thank you so much Giraffe! >.< y'all sure did make my day too!! :D

yeap, lots and lots of photos were taken and i shall upload them tmr!
credits of the pictures that i'll upload tmr goes to all 6 of them!!! :D

OH YES, NOW I KNOW WHY CHEEWAI TOOK MY PHONE ON FRIDAY.
hahaha i really appreciate and am really touched by the amount of effort cedar clique has put in into attempting to surprise me!!! here goes:

-pris actually "stalked" my facebook and figured i was closest to cally in poly.

-got in contact with cally for help to get my mama's number and also, planned with her to have a combined celebration with my poly friends and cedar clique.

-couldnt do so due to clashes in schedules.

-cally got cheewai's help to get my phone during FOI lecture - haha i suspected that he changed my screensaver or my start-up picture. i went home, check and check and check but couldnt figure out what he did.

-EVENTUALLY, i found out today that pris had asked cally for help in "stealing" my mama's number and cally in turn, got cheewai's help!! haha you can see the amount of trust that i put into my friends when i pass them my phone eh! i really didnt expect that haha!!

-jy got into contact with my mama to plan for a surprise birthday at my house but it didnt work out cuz we were going out. therefore, they had to scrap the idea eventually.

-oh my goodness, just look at the amount of effort and time!!! for all the effort that y'all did, i AM really very touched! though y'all did not carry out the idea as planned, the amount of effort that y'all have put in and gone through is already enough to warm my hearttttttttttttt. awwwwwwww.

THANK YOU BOTH 1B04 CLIQUE AND CEDAR CLIQUE!!!!!!!! >.<

LOVIES LOVIES LOVIES. :D

pictures of today soooooon. :D

2010-01-29T22:36:00.008+08:00

today was such a longggggggg day at school - really very tired...

BUT

when i read and looked through what my friends got me for my 19th birthday, it really warms my heart and brings lots of laughter and smiles to my face!!! :D

THANK YOU SO MUCH SHIHUI, WENQIN(CEDAR) AND EBENZERRRRRR!!!!

firstly, when i arrived at school for PFP lecture, i really really really didnt expect to receive anything. when shihui said, 'eh, i got something for you!', i was really surprised!! she then asked me to open it but i told her i only wanted to open it when i got home. she insisted and i gave in and when i opened the pink 'hand-sewn envelope', i went OMGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the prezzie she got me is the one that has ME WITH RAYMOND LAM (above picture)! the contents of the card is really hilarious and what she said were all 'bull's-eye!!'

wah this shows how well shihui knows me manzzzzzz!!! :P hehehe thank you so so much shihui!!!!!

hehe after that, before going in for PFP lecture, wenqin came up to me!! i didnt see her until she called me. i passed her bter's prezzie and she passed me my prezzie! awwwww my goodness, she got me all my favourite stuff!!!!!!! the ducky toy (yes, I LOVE DUCKS!!! :D), donald duck mini keychain and and a SZE keychain cum bracelet!!!!!! omgggggggg really thank you so so much wenqin!!!! i really love them loads - ALL MY FAVOURITE!!! you sure do know what i like eh!!! :D thank you so so very much wenqin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

yep yep and later, another pleasant surprise during FOI lecture when cally passed me what ebenzer got me! that was really a very very thoughtful card!!! ahem, though the pics where kinda unglam HAHAHA but that's what it's all about!! the fun and 'natural' part eh? HAHA! yeah man, SOMEDAY y'all will see me wear dress to SCHOOL! haha i do wear dresses but not to school thus far!! hehehe we'll see! :D thank you so much berrrzzzzzerrrr!!! :D

it's these kinds of little things that brighten up my day.

it is the thought that really counts to me. :)

whatever anyone may give, it doesnt have to cost millions of dollars (though i may not mind HAHAHA) but it is those little things that i may say as a passing remark, which people actually take notice of. :)

now, wouldnt that be THOUGHTFUL AND SWEET!

THANK YOU SO MUCH Y'ALL ONCE AGAIN!!!

LOVIES!!!!!! :D

2010-01-27T23:50:00.009+08:00

im really tired... but i dont want to sleep cuz it's such a waste of time!!
but im really tired... but it's a waste of time!! but im really tired...
-_-
oooo dilemma! okok, so maybe after this, i'll hit the sack! :)

i WAS so looking forward to friday but now my friday's "gone"... cally will know whyyyy. so sad lah! planned and daydreamed so much but had to scrap the idea in the end. no more lunch and shopping... :(
oh wells but life's like that. sometimes, things come by when you least expect it. :) so it depends on how you see it, whether positively or not. yeap and i chose to see it in a positive light and stay happy! :D

i think im slowly starting to understand the meaning of 'company' and 'friendship'.
wah, really got to thank cally for accompanying me so many times lah!
especially today, if she hadnt done that, i wouldnt have gone with her to meet up with jingkai, daniel, alex and eben at the library during our long break! if cally hadnt asked me to tag along, i'd probably go somewhere else and continue being that "introvert" HAHA. so touched lah, she accompanied me so many times already... ehhhh hmmm though she "abandoned" me quite a few times too HAHA. so we're even? :P HAHAHA. anyways, their company at the library today was simply excellent! :D really enjoyed the company. :)

oh yeah, looked through daniel's phone for songs and i came across this song - 不能说的秘密.
hmm, kinda reminded me of something haha... yeap and what a coincidence to add with coming across that song - had squids for dinner today too! hmmmmm very interesting indeed hahaha...
okok whatever, 'it's so long ago', right? you said it! i think i got what you meant :) so i wont ask and say anymore then :)

yeap, no school tmr but still have kinda a lot of things to do...
final presentation on monday and then, i can finally concentrate on end-sem exams.
omg okay, i just remembered there is another "interview" coming up in 2 weeks' time ahh!
oh ya and i just remembered, a test coming up in 1 week's time too ahhhh!
okok yeap, ONE STEP AT A TIME. :)

oh yes and i just found out that the phone i like is no longer in production!! -_-
this is NOT the first time, it seems like whatever i like, they'll stop producing. -_-
it's like, 'by the time i like, it's too late...' -_- ohhh myyy haha...

2010-01-24T04:26:00.008+08:00

what time is it?!! my eyes are kinda sleepy but i just dont feel like sleeping...
it should've been my rest day for the whole of saturday but it turned out that i still have to worry about HR project... oh wells, at least i was project worry-free for the first half of the day. :)

yay, finally did some shopping after how long manz!!
kinda disappointed for a start cuz i saw a dress that i really liked.
tried it on, looked kinda good in it but couldnt get the right size cuz it was out of stock... oh wells, this is what you call 有緣無份...
hehe eventually, i managed to get tops, bottoms and a dress still! :) really like them loadsssssssss. :D

yep, my shopping was done with my mother and she says MY TASTE IS OLD FASHIONED.
hahha but i've got to admit that my mother is more HIP than me. she says the clothes i choose are usually dulled colour? HMM, actually, if she hadnt said that, i wouldnt have noticed. haha but i guess it's just so happened lah!

sometimes, i'd like to wear those girly kind of dressing to school but i was thinking, 'im going to SCHOOL', so maybe it isnt that appropriate but my MOTHER says it's okay. hmm usually isnt it supposed to be the opposite? girl wanna wear super girly girly to school but mother says no.
hahahaha see, i told you my mother was more HIP than me! on second thought, if my mother says it's okay, so why not i wear my usual style to school? like those that i wear out? hmmmm.

okok so after shopping was lunch - 5 of us.
after that was walking around while waiting to meet wenqin.
we walked around ion, then to somerset 313, to heren and lastly, to john little.
yeap, lots of catching up and storiessssss!! simply love those sharing sessions hehehe very interesting indeed!! :D

later got home and ate like someone who was deprived of food - eating like as if there's no tomorrow... i then became super guilty and promised myself never to snack again. i've gotten 2 of my friends to be my witness. one supported me :) while the other said i was weird -_-

im really done with all these snacking and all, for all the miseries it'd caused me.
I HATE SNACKING.

2010-01-22T19:12:00.002+08:00

FINALLY, PFP project has been submitted - today.
the process of doing this project was...
it was mostly because of this project that made me all tensed up for the past couple of weeks. lots and lots of challenges faced during the course of this project...
however, one point to note: because of this project, i became much closer to my group mates, which consists of almost the same people for the other projects such as FOI and CS2.

especially for the PFP project, lots of frustrations and at times, some form of tension also built up as we were constantly stuck and unsure of our direction regarding the project... but at the end of the day, this enabled us to understand and to get to know each other much better!! our chemistry as a group really improved a lot, largely because of this project. :)
oh wells but i've got to admit, this was one project that i cant say that i really liked haha... though i am really okay with the subject itself. :)

yep yep, today was also CS2 self reflection journal and peer evaluation submission day. the process of doing and submitting this report was okay. :) haha and it definitely was not as tough and tedious as the PFP project! :P

we still have one more major project submission coming up this wednesday!! luckily this project isnt as tough as PFP - though it still is quite tough haha... but i'll pull through. :)

`how do you sleep? - jesse mccartney.

2010-01-17T01:24:00.003+08:00

im sick and tired of complaining...
how fat my face has become
how fat my arms are
how big my tummy is
how my fats are oozing out now
how ugly and fat i look in photos now
how fat and gross i look in clothes that i THOUGHT i'd look great in...
im really sick and tired of complaining of how i look now.

it's hard struggling with unhealthy eating.

so here's a new lifestyle that i'll start adopting from NOW:
proper meals with less portions, no snacks and staying active everyday.

i want to look great by the time it's my 19th birthday. :)
as of today, 170110, i only have 2 weeks left.
i want back the fit me.

2010-01-15T22:09:00.008+08:00

omgggggggg new song craze!!!!!!!!!!
愛得起 by 鍾嘉欣/鄭融 Feat. 韋雄

when the intro of the song started to play (the guitar part), i already told myself, 'eh, so far not bad'.
the moment the chorus came, i was already swaying myself to the song!!!!! the tune is really darn niceeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

as the title goes, 愛得起, this song mainly talks about while you're afraid of losing everything that you have in a relationship, it's about 'daring to love'. :)
haha that is how i interpreted the song. :)

it isnt very often that i like the song the very first time i listen to it!!

`THE DRIVE OF LIFE. :)

2010-01-13T22:48:00.008+08:00

DRAMA-MA-MA STORY
boy likes girl
girl rejects boy
both lost contact for about a year plus
recently regained contact
girl thinks that she is starting to have feelings for boy now
but doesnt know if boy's feelings remained the same as about 2 years ago.

what a drama-ma-ma story! haha isnt it?
i didnt know that such a story could have an effect on me.

oh wells, for the past week, i wasnt quite myself... i know it.
i knew something was wrong but it didnt really occur to me that it was having a very negative impact on me.

i was glad that i finally came to my senses after about 1 week plus, thanks to my group mates today. :)
they made some comment that made myself realise that 'something is wrong with my attitude'. i dont know whether they meant it but i took the comment very seriously. i have reviewed myself and yes, i probably have derailed - and this is something very serious.

recently, i seemed to have lost my drive and motivation... but really thanks a lot to the comments made today, i have come to realise the problem and i am fixing it right now. those few sentences that y'all made have brought me back to my senses - literally.

in the past week, i was constantly in a daze, was constantly in deep thoughts and was very distracted by the 'things in my head'. after awaking from my big "dream" just now - thanks to the comments made - i now feel that my motivation and drive is finally back!! :D
the 'recharged' feeling is simply whooooo - lots of catching up because i'd been "sleeping" for the past week or so! i finally woke up from my big "dream" just now and i feel so totally charged up! :)

yep yep, there is no point thinking and dwelling upon the past. LOOK FORWARD. :) there is simply no point just thinking and thinking and thinking about 'what i did' and 'what i should have done'. instead, stay focused on the tasks at hand right NOW.

`so sorry to everyone who was affected by my previous behaviour and attitude.
`THE MOTIVATED SZE IS BACK. :)

THE DRIVE OF LIFE. :D

2010-01-10T14:38:00.000+08:00

兩年啦，已經兩年o架喇。。。
而家諗番去，可能當時我仲唔識點去諗啦，同埋第一次喎。。。所以都冇乜識點去好好嘅諗，冇咁好好嘅欣賞。。。當時我可能太天真掛。。。

而家可能大咗小小啦，比以前識諗比較多啲啦。。。
尋日瞓覺之前睇番你寫俾我嘅信。。。其實以前都睇番幾次啦，但係唔知點解今次竟然感動番。。。

冇幾耐前你發俾我嘅短訊，令到我感覺啲嘢。。。
你咁做係咪我諗多咗。。。或者你。。。？

而家我都唔知自己諗緊乜。。。
都已經兩年啦，我諗大家都變o架喇。。。但係你兩年前當時話你冇變到。。。而家哩？你嘅心意仲係同以前一唔一樣？

或者可能我又諗多咗，感覺嘅嘢又都係錯晒。。。

都唔知點解感覺突然間會。。。好突然呀。。。

我見過同埋識咗多啲人之後，我呢排先至發覺你原來一直以來係對我好好。。。或者我又諗多咗？
不如你話俾我知？

＜你係我第一諗在早上，仲有最後在夜晚。
你係那愛嚟沒有警告。＞
it’s part of westlife’s ‘obvious’ lyrics。
go figure haha。。。